Abigail: Beauty and the beast

A few years ago, when I was getting ready for marriage, one of the things I prayerfully considered was a wise husband. For me, spirituality without wisdom was tantamount to nothing. If we fail to consider the nature and character of our partners before we marry, a beautiful woman would be in a holy wedlock with a sentimental fool. So many beautiful and God-fearing people have married spouses who turned out to be something else. Some beautiful women have married beasts who turned the women into punching bags. Some hard working men have married extremely lazy and contemptuous women. Whereas going into such marriages seems easier, coming out is the most difficult experience. As our faith does not support divorce, make sure you choose your partner with all wisdom and understanding.  Love has eyes, it is never blind.

The man’s name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail; she was a woman of good understanding, and beautiful. But the man was rough and evil in his doings; he was a Calebite. (1 Samuel 25:3 AMPC)

As we continue our series on women in the Bible, let’s stop at Carmel. We would visit the house of Nabal and Abigail. Our focus would be on Abigail, the wife of Nabal. Their story also intertwines with the story of David. This is how the Bible introduced Nabal and Abigail: “There was a certain man in Maon who carried on his business in the region of Carmel. He was very prosperous—three thousand sheep and a thousand goats, and it was sheep-shearing time in Carmel. The man’s name was Nabal (Fool), a Calebite, and his wife’s name was Abigail. The woman was intelligent and good-looking, the man brutish and mean.” (1 Samuel 25:2‭-‬3 MSG). Before the reader is exposed to what really happened, the stage was set. Abigail was intelligent and beautiful but Nabal was brute and mean. In other words, Abigail and Nabal were like beauty and the beast. How did two different people manage to live under the same roof? Now, see what happened: 

“While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! “ ‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’ ” (1 Samuel 25:4‭-‬8). Nabal’s reply was, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” (1 Samuel 25:10‭-‬11). Was this reply intentional? Didn’t Nabal know who David was? Was Nabal just being harsh and mean? Whatever Nabal’s intention was, it really triggered David to retaliate. 

In case Nabal just wanted to be mean to David, he should have known that his response could potentially cause David the giant slayer to attack him and his household. Nabal’s harsh reply put all he had in potential threat. What was he thinking? A giant slayer with over 600 men who had helped Nabal’s shepherds made a request, and the response even surprised Nabal’s own shepherds. No wonder Proverbs admonishes us to get wisdom: “Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious crown.” (Proverbs 4:5‭-‬9)

Abigail might have had to daily deal with the excesses of Nabal. If she failed to correct his errors, even her own life was in danger. Imagine if Nabal had married a woman who was not as wise as Abigail. The result would have been worse. We shall continue to look at Abigail’s reaction to this situation in our next post.

Many marriages have spouses with attitudes such as Nabal. In such unions, the other spouses would have to daily repair and restore relationships and friendships, build trust and apologize to as many people who experience the brutality of their spouses. If you are married to anyone who has the character of Nabal, I pray for God’s wisdom to navigate through. If you are yet to marry, make sure not to overlook any red flags along the way. If beauty marries the beast in real life (not in Disney movies), beauty either changes to a beast or gets consumed by the beast. Before you tie the knot, look around, look ahead, and look up…don’t miss any signal. In real life, the beast doesn’t turn into a prince charming by the deactivating tears of a beautiful princess. For a real life beauty to tame a beast, it takes lots of work, prayers, fasting and potential bruises from the beast. Your body might be bruised and your emotions might be hurt as well.

Small but wise: consider the hyrax

The author of Proverbs made a profound statement about learning the wisdom of animals. Creation indeed teaches about life and the lifestyle of some animals points us to important lessons in life. King Solomon, the author of most of the book of Proverbs was the wisest king that ever lived. His quest for wisdom led him to receive wisdom from God to manage the affairs of His people. Wisdom is the principal thing according to king Solomon. He also recommends that we get understanding to navigate the wisdom (Proverbs 4:7). Why will Solomon use the wisdom of animals to teach important lessons of life? God has deposited in these animals specific traits that help humans to know and understand the intricacies of life. We considered the wisdom of the ant, and identified that ants make plans for the future. Let’s consider Proverbs 30:24-28:

“Four things on earth are small, yet they are extremely wise: Ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer; hyraxes are creatures of little power, yet they make their home in the crags; locusts have no king, yet they advance together in ranks; a lizard can be caught with the hand, yet it is found in kings’ palaces.

Today, let’s consider the wisdom of the hyrax. Hyrax also known as coney is a small herbivore and mostly found in Africa and Arabia. Their bodies are compact, they have short tails, they are bigger than guinea pigs and share similarities with the rabbits. The hyraxes are very unique and their habitation is in the rocks. Yes, the rocks, and that account for the name rock hyraxes. Solomon says that “hyraxes are creatures of little power, yet they make their home in the crags” (Proverbs 30:26). By size, we might consider them less powerful to make their homes in the rocks. But these little creatures have learnt to survive in the crags! They have adapted and developed their survival strategies. What can we learn from the hyrax?

The first lesson we identify is the wisdom to navigate the rocks. For most little furry mammals, it is easier to live on trees or to burrow the soil and make their homes. Survival on the rocks takes wisdom to navigate and know the best escape route as other wild animals live on the rocks as well. Second, the hyraxes live in colonies and that helps in survival. Third, they do not sow dens but find shelter in existing holes in the crags so it is difficult to encroach on them. Further, they take advantage of their feet to maintain their grip on the rocks. Life is not easy for the hyrax but they take charge of the rocks (hard place for a small mammal), live in groups (for protection and provision), locate existing opportunities (holes in the crags) and make it their own. Finally, they gain stamina (their feet) and they thrive. 

When life takes you to the rocks, remember the hyrax. You can flee from the rocks, or you take advantage and make the rocks your own to turn your story around. 

Live wisely: Building our homes on God’s wisdom

Wisdom is very important for all our endeavours. In fact, according to the Bible, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7). A home built on godly wisdom thrives and propers. But, a home built on folly is heading to ruins. Without wisdom, we are heading towards a risky path. It is important that as believers, we seek wisdom and understanding. There are people who are wise in academic and corporate affairs but lack the wisdom in home management. You can excel so much in your career and fail in your role as a parent, a wife, a husband or a child if you do not apply wisdom in your life. Wisdom is not inherited, we must seek it. No wonder Solomon in all his wisdom was succeeded by Rehoboam who lacked wisdom in managing state affairs. The result was detrimental. 

In the Bible, wisdom is personalized as a woman. Proverbs 4:5-9 admonishes us to “Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious crown.” In Proverbs 1:7, we are reminded that, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” We can leave properties to children, but we cannot leave wisdom as an inherited property. We must seek, desire,  acquire and teach it to our children. Why is wisdom principal in our homes?

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15‭-‬16)

We are living in evil days. Paul admonished the Ephesian church to “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15‭-‬16). We are not living in ordinary times. If we fail to build our homes on godly wisdom,  we make room for worldliness and ungodly information to penetrate into our family. Paul admonishes the church this way: “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is” (Ephesians 5:17). Parents, spouses, children etc. all need the wisdom of God to make godly decisions. For example, decisions on where the family will stay, raising godly children, the children’s education, financial arrangements for the future, managing money etc. must be carefully made in wisdom. For instance, If we understand the implication of saving towards retirement, we make important decisions on specific retirement plans while we are still in active work. 

The failure to take certain decisions in our active years can cause us a future of uncertainty. Let us make a conscious effort to make most of every opportunity. May we invest in seeking godly wisdom. The Bible is our foundational manual for wisdom. We should also listen to people who have used godly principles in building their homes. We can invest in books and other resources that provide godly principles of wisdom. We are too endowed to lose opportunities God brings our way. In all our ways, we should seek wisdom and understanding in order to stand out from among the crowd.