David’s concubines

Is there anything you could have avoided but allowed it to happen and later became a snare to you? How did you feel when the consequences of your actions led to further problems for you and the people around you? If you were given a second chance at life, what would you do differently to avert such an incident from happening? Most of us build our lives on try and error patterns. We make countless mistakes until we get it right. Some people are able to bounce back from where they fall. Unfortunately many are unable to get it right and remain at the rock bottom all their lives. One such person whose decisions led to a cycle of misfortunes was king David. His one night with Uriah’s wife and subsequent murder caused him a cycle of painful experiences. This was the verdict David received for sleeping with someone’s wife and then killing the husband:
“Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own. This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’ ” (2 Samuel 12:10‭-‬12).

As a result of this verdict, David’s own son (Amnon) raped David’s own daughter (Tamar). David’s own son (Absalom, brother of Tamar) killed David’s firstborn (Amnon). When we thought there was calmness, another volcano was dropped: Absalom rebelled against his own father and David, his household, his army and his supporters and counselors fled from home (read 2 Samuel 15). The same Absalom who was forgiven for murder, conspired with some of David’s own people against his own father. David’s best counselor, Ahithophel was among the conspirators. David prayed, “Lord, turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness.” (2 Samuel 15:31b). As a matter of urgency, David, the giant slayer, fled with his entire household following him; but he left ten concubines to take care of the palace (2 Samuel 15:16). These ten concubines were left behind when all those that matter to David were taken away. These concubines spent their lives meeting the sexual and emotional needs of David. However, when trouble came to the house of David, they were left behind to take care of a troubled palace. Their place was with the troublemaker Absalom. They might have been afraid for their lives. What would their fate be? 

So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he slept with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. (2 Samuel 16:22)

When Absalom asked Ahithophel what he should do, the very wise Ahithophel gave him wild advice. Ahithophel was no ordinary person. In those days the advice Ahithophel gave was like that of one who inquires of God. That was how both David and Absalom regarded all of Ahithophel’s advice (2 Samuel 16:23). No wonder David prayed that God would turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness. This was the advice of Ahithophel: “Sleep with your father’s concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself obnoxious to your father, and the hands of everyone with you will be more resolute.” (2 Samuel 16:21). Reading this verse 1000s of years later, I still wonder why Absalom did not think this advice was foolish. But Ahithophel knew how to kill David’s authority in the eyes of the people. So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he slept with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel (2 Samuel 16:22). Imagine! David even had the sanity to take Bethsheba to the room. Absalom slept with ten women on a rooftop in broad daylight. This is not a movie! It really happened. 

Did Absalom have any reverence for these women? Why did he chose to disregard the ten women’s lives but killed Amnon for raping his one sister? Imagine the shame and the stigma. The Law of Moses made it explicit that sons should not disrespect their father’s bed (Leviticus 18:8). Jacob’s son, Rueben committed a similar crime with his father’s concubine, Bilhah and Jacob cursed the entire generation of the Reubenites. When peace was restored and David finally returned to his palace Jerusalem, he took the ten concubines he had left to take care of the palace and put them in a house under guard. He provided for them but had no sexual relations with them. They were kept in confinement till the day of their death, living as widows (2 Samuel 20:3). Absalom made these ten concubines desolate for the rest of their lives just as Amnon made Tamar desolate. Absalom did not win the war against his father. He was killed and all who supported him perished with him. However, the ten concubines lived as mere shadows of themselves. They were put in a house under a guard. Their freedom was taken, their lives were halted and for the rest of their days, they lived as widows. All these pain inflicted by the men who were supposed to protect these vulnerable women.

No woman deserves to be treated as just a sex object. Men have the moral and God-given responsibility to provide a safe environment for the women in their lives. If you know a woman who is being abused sexually, contact the right authorities to help her. If we keep quiet, the abusers’ next target might be someone close to you. Women are created by God for exploits. Be intentional about helping your wife, sister, friend, neighbour etc. When women are highly equipped, the world becomes a better place.

Tamar: Revenge and family feud

Our study on Tamar, David’s daughter, is not over. Amnon’s amorous desire and subsequent rape of Tamar didn’t go down well with his father David and his brother Absalom. According to 2 Samuel 13: 21-22, “when King David heard all this, he was furious. And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.” Scripture does not mention the disciplinary measure David took to mitigate the harm done to Tamar. He was just furious but Amnon went free. On the other hand, Absalom, the brother of Tamar, didn’t even say a single word about the incident to Amnon. In his silence, Absalom nurtured hatred for his brother Amnon. Is there something David could have done to alleviate the hurt in this incident? Maybe, he could have had an open discussion with the affected parties to ensure that no one is bitter. Further, Amnon should have been disciplined for his uncouth behavior. David himself was recovering from his own amorous relationship and the consequences of his sins. He might have taken this incident lightly and his lack of proactive measures caused more harm than good. 

Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman. (2 Samuel 13:20)

Tamar was bruised emotionally and physically. She was dishonoured by someone she trusted. In her act of service to her own brother, her innocence was taken away. She was hurt, broken and driven away like an ordinary servant. Until you experience pain and rejection from the people you love, you might not fully understand the pain Tamar had to go through. Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.” (2 Samuel 13:20). Tamar was left broken and wounded, she became desolate in her own father’s house. Amnon’s wickedness didn’t go unnoticed. For two years, Absalom nursed a grudge with his brother and looked for the perfect opportunity to strike. Absalom had every right to be angry but to seek vengeance, was something he was not supposed to do no matter the pain. David might have left a loophole for further confrontation but Absalom should have sought a better redress other than a decision to kill. 

Amnon’s predicament came two years after he had raped his sister. I am sure Amnon would have thought that Absalom had forgotten about the incident. But, Absalom had an evil plan. He invited all his brothers to his sheep-shearing and he ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” So Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons got up, mounted their mules and fled.”(2 Samuel 13:28‭-‬29). Absalom killed Amnon for raping his sister Tamar. Absalom had a feud with Amnon because of what he did to Tamar and he sought revenge the wrong way. While David mourned the possibility of the death of his sons, Amnon’s advisor, Jonadab, the same person who proposed the best way to get Tamar came to speak with David. He said, “My Lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom’s express intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar.” (2 Samuel 13:32). Jonadab knew all this while that Absalom had such intentions and waited for the harm to be done. Friends like Jonadab should be avoided. They will lead you to evil and leave you in it while they escape from the consequences of their evil plans. 

The feud in king David’s palace was made worse. First, David’s own adultery and murder of Uriah;them Amnon raped Tamar and Absalom killed Amnon. In the midst of all these brouhaha, were women who were hurt, wounded and treated as second class to the men. Absalom fled for his life leaving his desolate sister behind. Indeed Absalom really loved his sister Tamar and even named his own daughter Tamar “and she became a beautiful woman” (2 Samuel 14:27). The story is far from over. The fire in David’s palace is yet to be quenched. 

One big lesson from this story is from Deuteronomy 32:35: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” Sometimes, seeking revenge escalates the situation out of proportion.

Tamar: Raped and Hated

Imagine if there was a television station in 1000 BCE about the time of the reign of king David. With all the hullabaloo of the royal house, one news that might potentially cause the first son of the king to lose all access to the throne would be this: “King David’s palace was alerted today of an incident in Amnon’s quarters. Amnon, the son of Ahinoam and the first son of the king cunningly raped Tamar the daughter of the king through his wife Maakah. Tamar is the beautiful sister of the handsome Absalom.” Although there were no televisions in 1000 BCE and maybe an unfortunate incident such as the rape of the king’s daughter might not be announced publicly, it would no doubt affect Amnon’s reputation and Tamar’s self esteem. Amnon’s obsession with his own sister was no good. Even the advisor of Amnon saw that Amnon was looking haggard. Amnon confessed to his shrewd advisor  known as Jonadab that he was in love with Tamar. 

Upon Jonadab’s counsel, Amnon lied to David and had Tamar go to his house and make some bread for him. Tamar did not refuse to help a sick brother. She went and baked the bread as was expected. Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat and rather said  “Send everyone out of here” and so everyone left him (2 Samuel 13:9). Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom (2 Samuel 13:10). Tamar had no slight idea that her brother was up to no good. She innocently followed the instructions of her elder brother without no malice intent. However, when she took the bread to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister” (2 Samuel 13:11). Tamar gave Amnon enough reasons to persuade Amnon from raping her. She said: “No, my brother! Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” (2 Samuel 13:12‭-‬13). 

But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. (2 Samuel 13:14)

Amnon was bent on evil and without remorse, he went ahead with his evil plans. He refused to listen to the words of counsel from Tamar and since he was stronger than His sister, he raped her (2 Samuel 13:14). What was Tamar’s crime to deserve this shameful treatment? As if that was not enough, Amnon drove her out of his house. After raping her, the infatuation was over. Amnon’s obsession was never out of love. He was just looking for an opportunity to sleep with his sister. The aftermath of the rape was this: Amnon hated Tamar with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!” (2 Samuel 13:15). Which kind of wickedness is this? Even when Tamar begged him not to throw her out, Amnon refused to listen. Amnon called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her” (2 Samuel 13:17). Like how? None of this makes sense. Amnon was a wicked and heartless young man. Imagine him as a king of Israel. Far from it! His actions did not just rid him of his position as the first born, it also made him a “wicked fool” just as Tamar had cautioned. Tamar was disgraced, raped and hated by her own brother. As the cultural sign, “Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing” and “she put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went” (2 Samuel 13:19).

In case you cannot stand the wickedness of Amnon, know that there are hundreds, thousands and even ten thousands of Amnons in the 21st century. These are men who are bent on evil. Some of these Amnons have raped their own wives, raped their children, raped their sisters, raped their friends, raped strangers, raped students etc. Fortunately, some of these Amnons have been arrested and charged for their crimes and yet others are walking about causing more pain and havoc. Amnon’s advisor,  Jonadab is the kind of friend you might want to avoid. The counsel of Jonadab was evil and yet, only Amnon would suffer the consequences of listening to Jonadab. 

Dear sisters, if you have an Amnon in your life that makes life uncomfortable for you, reach out to the appropriate authorities for help. 
Dear brothers, be a keeper of the women around you. Don’t let their kindness become a stepping stone to your evil intent. God will surely punish every evil. 
Dear lawmaker, don’t ignore the pleas of Tamars and don’t free the Amnons. 

The concubine from Bethlehem: Abused, butchered and divided into pieces

One of the inhumane stories in the Bible is recorded in Judges 19. Before we delve into the story, let’s look at some background information. A Levite (descendant of Levi, son of Jacob) had a concubine from Bethlehem in Judah. First, cohabitation is not a 20th century thing. From time immemorial till date, some people prefer to be in a cohabitation rather than marriage. For most people, it is just escaping from the commitment in marriage and for others, the financial burden of a marriage ceremony leads them to be in a cohabitation relationship. As there are no legal ties, each partner can do whatever they want including leaving the relationship when they want. Cohabitation is not God’s plan for raising godly families and children. It is humanity’s escape route to enjoying ‘freedom’ and the unstoppable access to do what they feel like even when they are with another person. Remember,  during the times of the judges,  Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit (Judges 21:25). In the 21st century, most nations have made alternate arrangements for partners engaged in cohabitation. However in ancient Israel, that must have been taken as a rebellious relationship as their laws permitted sex or consummation in the context of marriage. So the Levite, from a priestly family obviously knew better than engaging a woman from another tribe as a concubine.

In those days Israel had no king. Now a Levite who lived in a remote area in the hill country of Ephraim took a concubine from Bethlehem in Judah. But the men would not listen to him. So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. (Judges 19:1‭, ‬25)

The story begins on this note: “In those days Israel had no king. Now a Levite who lived in a remote area in the hill country of Ephraim took a concubine from Bethlehem in Judah. But she was unfaithful to him. She left him and went back to her parents’ home in Bethlehem, Judah. After she had been there four months, her husband went to her to persuade her to return. He had with him his servant and two donkeys. She took him into her parents’ home, and when her father saw him, he gladly welcomed him.” (Judges 19:1‭-‬3). Just as the Levite was unfaithful to God’s commands, his concubine was also unfaithful to him and left him. The woman was free to leave as she was not legally bound to the Levite. The dissatisfied Levite travelled all the way to Bethlehem to bring back his concubine but after being detained on a few occasions by the woman’s father, the man refused to stay one more night. He left for his home country with his servant and concubine. Their journey did not go as they planned. While spending the night in Gibeah, some wicked men requested the host to “Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him.” (Judges 19:22c). Does this request ring a bell? Lot and his family were given similar demands by the Sodomites (Genesis 19). The host tried to intervene but it did not work. Instead of confronting the men of Gibeah, the Levite did this: 
“So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. (Judges 19:25b). 

If you have not read this passage, I will request that you do. The concubine was given away by her partner to the group of men who wanted to sleep with him. The woman might have suffered emotional trauma of seeing her partner hand her over to a group of men to rape her. The Levite spared himself but gave his partner to this ravenous men who spent all night raping her. I can’t even imagine the number of times this woman was abused. It was a gang rape incident and her concubine went to sleep. Afterall, He was not committed to her. The woman was left alone to satisfy men who have forsaken God’s laws about showing kindness to strangers. As if that was not enough, these men knew that God forbade them against sodomy. The Levite might have known all these and yet, forsook his concubine in a brutal action that took her life. After the gang rape, at daybreak, the woman went back to the house  where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight. When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold. He said to her, “Get up; let’s go.” But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home. (Judges 19:26‭-‬28). After the Levite arrived home, he did a barbaric act: “When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel”  (Judges 19:29). The same man who spared his life to end that of his concubine had the courage to demand for justice in the most barbaric way. In fact, “everyone who saw it was saying to one another, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Just imagine! We must do something! So speak up!” (Judges 19:30). Judges 20 and 21 details the unfortunate battles that were fought and the lives that were lost because of this. 

The story of this unfortunate concubine teaches us important lessons about love and relationship. The Levite man saved his life but led his partner into the hands of her killers. She was abused, killed, butchered and shared as a war signal across Israel. She left Judah in full but only her piece was sent back. Before you move in with him, know that if he is not committed to you the right way, he can hand you over to save his life, image, and self-esteem. Run away from what can take your life. 

On the contrary, Jesus took our place as sinners and died for our sins. According to Jesus, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13). Jesus wasn’t talking about laying down your life in marriage or in a relationship. Jesus was talking about the salvation He brought to humanity. 

Dinah’s predicament: Defiled and dishonored

Dinah, Jacob’s only daughter, visited the women of the land and that resulted in another unfortunate incident. Dinah,  the only female among a male-dominated household, might have been a bit bored on the long journey back to Canaan. She was the only female in her age group within the convoy. Her mother Leah and her Auntie Rachel and their servants were not people she could easily share friendship with. Her brothers kept the sheep and were barely home. Thus, for the maiden, a new community with females her age seemed to be a good company for her. However, she did not count the cost of venturing into the land all alone. She probably did not perceive any evil from the people. She had always felt safe among her brothers and a visit to another place was just for her to have acquaintances. She might have left the family with high hopes and excitement, with an expectation to make new friends. Dinah was just an innocent lady who was excited to meet other women. She did not know that that single trip would change her life forever. If she had known, she wouldn’t have gone to visit the women of the land. 

Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her. (Genesis 34:1‭-‬2)

Male dominance is not a new thing. It existed in the ancient world and still in some countries, women and girls still face challenges caused by hegemonic masculinity. Dinah had no clue that she would attract the most powerful young man on the land. Let’s look at Genesis 34:1-2; “Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her.” The whole journey and the rape incident is summarized in two verses.  We are not given any indication that Dinah did anything that provoked the rape. Thus, Shechem, exercised his masculinity and raped Dinah for no apparent reason. Raping a virgin is humiliating and it brings dishonor to the lady. Virginity was highly upheld and a test of virginity was a necessity for newly consummated brides. In the 21st century,  most Western nations would look down on such a “ridiculous” marital requirement. However, there are still nations and communities that still have the marriage night proof of virginity test. Thus, Dinah would have missed the opportunity to take the virginity proof for her marriage. After raping Dinah, Shechem’s “heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob; he loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.” (Genesis 34:3‭-‬4).

The request might have seemed appropriate considering the shame of being raped, but Jacob’s sons were not excited about it. After deceiving the whole city to have all their males undergo circumcision just to release Dinah to them, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brother, did an evil deed. Genesis 34:25-26 states that “Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword and took Dinah from Shechem’s house and left.” Simeon and Levi’s action made the whole family obnoxious to the surrounding cities. Their revenge was overwhelming compared to the crime against their sister. They destroyed a whole city in anger. Dinah was rescued from Shechem’s house and that was the last thing we heard about Dinah. The Bible does not give additional information. It seemed that Dinah’s predicament affected her life. Did she ever marry? Did she have children? Did she suffer emotional trauma from the whole experience? 

Dinah visited the land with hopes and expectations. Her innocent visit led to a permanent emotional scare. She lost her dignity and pride in the process and caused a whole city to be destroyed. Years later, Jacob will comment on the instability of Simeon and Levi and how their anger led to the extermination of a whole community. Before we step out of the house  it is important to commit our ways to the Lord. Further, if we don’t learn to control our anger, our anger will always control us and put us into trouble. Dinah was defiled and dishonored and ultimately, her storyline ended.