The Proverbs 31 woman: The God-fearing woman

There are many good women out there but not all of these good women are God-fearing women. The distinction between the ordinary hard working woman and the Proverbs 31 woman is the God factor. Fear can have negative connotations but to fear God is a good and positive experience. To fear God means to revere God and that reverence affects the way we live and our relationship with others. Fearing God connotes an awe for God, worship, respect,  obedience and submission.  Fearing God also implies living in obedience to God’s words. Thus any good woman who does not accept the leading of God and totally refuses God in her life is not a Proverbs 31 woman. The fear of God is the motivation for the Proverbs 31 woman. She understands the dynamics of a God-fearing home, she knows that her husband and children are her ministry. She understands that service to humanity is service to God. She knows that her husband is the head of the home and Christ is the head of her husband. Therefore, she has no problem submitting to the leadership of her husband. 

The problem of many 21st century marriages is caused by the flipping of God’s original plan of marriage. Ephesians 5:21-24 states this: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Unfortunately most women understand submission as a sign of weakness. They assume the headship of their homes causing their husbands to become the second or sometimes the third in command in their homes. Some women even promote their children over their husbands leaving the men as mere tenants in their own homes. The Proverbs 31 woman knows that God’s plans are the best for home building. Because she handles her home ministry very well, “her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her (Proverbs 31:28). This is the praises of her husband, “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” (Proverbs 31:29). The husband understands the extent his wife goes to make their home and family run smoothly. 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

Thus, the God factor is very critical in the home of the Proverbs 31 woman. As we saw in our previous post, the Proverbs 31 woman puts effort in making her home and herself look good. She is clothed in fine linen and purple. She knows how to be attractive to her husband. She knows how to make the house attractive and beautiful. In all this, the Proverbs 31 woman also understands this truth: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). She knows that her appearance, her beauty, her self presentation, her beautiful clothing, keeping fit, being active, indulging in self-care etc. is good but the big factor is that “a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” She therefore makes God her focus in all her ways. The Proverbs 31 woman has both rewards on earth and eternal rewards. Besides being loved and appreciated by her husband and children, she also receives honour.  Proverbs 31 ends on this note: “Honour her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (Proverbs 31:31).

We can take a few lessons from this post:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7). The wisdom to be the Proverbs 31 woman begins with the fear of the Lord. See Job 28:28, Psalm 111:10 etc.

“Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honour.” (Proverbs 15:33). 

“Praise the Lord. Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands.” (Psalms 112:1)

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Whoever fears the Lord walks uprightly, but those who despise him are devious in their ways.” (Proverbs 14:1‭-‬2)

The Proverbs 31 woman: The home maker

I have heard of women who are of the view that the Proverbs 31 woman is an imagination of the author and never existed and can never exist. Such claims are based on the fact that this Proverbs 31 woman seems to have everything under control, extremely multifaceted, very busy at work, at home and seems to be a community champion in whatever she does. The argument further claims that this Proverbs 31 woman is just too busy to even have a life of her own. Some people also believe that since the Proverbs 31 woman was literally doing everything, it is possible that she was married to a lazy man who does nothing but sit at the city gates to receive compliments. The truth is, I have personally witnessed women who have transformed their families, homes, societies, workplaces/businesses, and still have enough quality time with their families. Such women are married to virtuous men who have also transformed their families, homes, societies, workplaces/businesses and still spend quality time with their families. The average 21 century woman does everyday multitasking. She takes care of the home (husband and kids if she has), works full or part-time (or is a stay-home mother who busies herself each day to make her home clean and comfy), engaged in church or other community organisations, and does other things to keep her home running. 

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (Proverbs 31:21)

The desire of most women is to ensure that their homes are homely for their families, friends and anyone who pays them a visit. She provides weather appropriate clothing for her children. For example, “when it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet (Proverbs 31:21). Her home making skills extend to even the poor and needy: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20). Her interior decor is on point: “She makes coverings for her bed” (Proverbs 31: 22a). The 21st century woman does not necessarily create the bedding or other interior decor. She gets them from the shop and decorates her house well. The Proverbs 31 woman has a sense of good fashion: “she is clothed in fine linen and purple” (Proverbs 31:22b). She doesn’t wear shabby clothes and her focus is to be modest. She knows how to blend colors and she is not excessive. In fact, this woman is inwardly “clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25). 

Other than making her home, we also considered the industrious nature of this woman: “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes” (Proverbs 31:24). Definitely any man married to a virtuous woman receives compliments from others: “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land” (Proverbs 31:23). The Proverbs 31 woman “speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). She is so diligent in making her home: “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27). She doesn’t spend time in worthless lifestyles. She doesn’t leave her home unattended to and engage in baseless gossip. Her home is her priority. Her husband and children boast about her commitment to them. She is intentional about her home ministry and doesn’t consider her managing of her home as a horrible chore. She is selfless and yet makes time to take care of herself.

We can learn these home making lessons from the Proverbs 31 woman: Be realistic: Don’t try to turn your home into a Palace lifestyle when your financial conditions do not allow. Make your own decorations. Go to the shops and get Do-it-yourself (DIY) things and give your home a beautiful look based on your budget.  Be intentional: Get your home weather appropriate clothing. Your children should not be too cold and neither should they be too hot. Be romantic: Don’t turn your bedroom into a clothing store! Make your bed everyday.  Put some extra effort to make your bedroom extra comfy and extra ready… you know what I mean! Be lovable: Make it a point to make yourself lovable to your husband and children. Let them delight in coming back home. Speak with wisdom, love, affection. Don’t be a nagging woman! Be beautiful: Looking beautiful for your husband should be your everyday desire. Get some affordable clothes and dress well. Don’t leave your hair looking messed up, your dresses ripped and looking worn out.  Be busy: Don’t sleep all day! Be active and busy with your life. Even if you are a stay-home mother,  be active in doing what makes your home better. Go for a walk, get a treadmill, walk your dog, go for a run. Don’t just waste your body with excess fat. A healthy lifestyle is your living sacrifice. I recommend my book on A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE.  Be ready to carry yourself up: Life is not a bed of roses. If things don’t work the way it is expected,  don’t spend weeks, months,  years and decades mourning. Clothed yourself with strength and dignity so you can laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31:25)

The Proverbs 31 woman: The industrious wife

The number of women in business and industry has shot up in recent years. Many women are actively in fields that were previously considered male-dominated fields. Thus in most parts of the world, there is a higher tendency for women to excel in their careers. Unfortunately, there are still laws and traditions that prohibit women in certain places from advancing in life. Even as we pray that nations and societies will open up to accept women in certain positions, we should also encourage women to be prepared, equipped and made ready to lay hold of opportunities. The Bible presents diverse women who rose up to be important members of their societies. Whereas societies prevented women from voting for a long time, in the Bible, we find women who were judges, influential Queens, rich business owners, religious leaders among many others. Christianity doesn’t oppress women. We see women as instrumental partners of God’s agenda. The Proverbs 31 woman shows a woman of substance, grace and value.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. (Proverbs 31:13)

Other than being a wife of noble character, the Proverbs 31 woman has other amazing qualities. In this post, we shall consider her hardworking and entrepreneurial skills. First, she is crafty with creating clothing for her home and business. Proverbs 31:13 states that “she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.” This all-in-one woman also shops for the best food supplies. Proverbs 31:13 says, “she is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” Not just that, this woman does not allow her work to interfere with her home duties. Therefore, “she gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants” (Proverbs 31:15). As if these are not enough, “she considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard” (Proverbs 31:16). This woman does not leave all her other tasks, but “she sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks” (Proverbs 31:17). The different businesses she manages are not left unattended because this woman “sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night” (Proverbs 31:18). Thus at work and at home, she has a balance, none is left unattended. As if these skills are not enough, this woman is also skilled in home crafts and is diligent in homemaking. Proverbs 31:19 says that, “in her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.”

This woman is really hard working both in her home and at her businesses. Her line of trade might not be relevant to us but her desire for entrepreneurship is worth emulating. She is multifaceted and is not limited to just one thing. She understands the principle of investing in different ventures. In the 21st century, she could have been a career woman working in the industry, managing a side business and actively taking care of her home. She does not focus on one and neglect the other. The reason this woman is so organized and productive is the fact that she plans her day. She wakes up early in the morning and begins her day on an active mode. She understands the dynamics of work and family. She doesn’t sleep all day and wakes up to just watch TV. Even though she has a husband who would be as industrious and supportive as she is, this woman understands that she has to be engaged in profitable ventures. 

Whether working in an office, managing her own business, managing her home, or being a stay-home mother, the Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t slack in her responsibilities. She ensures that her home experiences her presence as much as she is dedicated to her work. Can the 21st Century career woman make time for her home and family considering the demands of work? The answer is YES! It is possible. If you want to keep your home and work life balanced, you need to make sacrifices such as avoiding overtime shifts, being intentional about spending time with your family and avoiding unnecessary time wasters.