The Proverbs 31 woman: The God-fearing woman

There are many good women out there but not all of these good women are God-fearing women. The distinction between the ordinary hard working woman and the Proverbs 31 woman is the God factor. Fear can have negative connotations but to fear God is a good and positive experience. To fear God means to revere God and that reverence affects the way we live and our relationship with others. Fearing God connotes an awe for God, worship, respect,  obedience and submission.  Fearing God also implies living in obedience to God’s words. Thus any good woman who does not accept the leading of God and totally refuses God in her life is not a Proverbs 31 woman. The fear of God is the motivation for the Proverbs 31 woman. She understands the dynamics of a God-fearing home, she knows that her husband and children are her ministry. She understands that service to humanity is service to God. She knows that her husband is the head of the home and Christ is the head of her husband. Therefore, she has no problem submitting to the leadership of her husband. 

The problem of many 21st century marriages is caused by the flipping of God’s original plan of marriage. Ephesians 5:21-24 states this: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Unfortunately most women understand submission as a sign of weakness. They assume the headship of their homes causing their husbands to become the second or sometimes the third in command in their homes. Some women even promote their children over their husbands leaving the men as mere tenants in their own homes. The Proverbs 31 woman knows that God’s plans are the best for home building. Because she handles her home ministry very well, “her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her (Proverbs 31:28). This is the praises of her husband, “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” (Proverbs 31:29). The husband understands the extent his wife goes to make their home and family run smoothly. 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

Thus, the God factor is very critical in the home of the Proverbs 31 woman. As we saw in our previous post, the Proverbs 31 woman puts effort in making her home and herself look good. She is clothed in fine linen and purple. She knows how to be attractive to her husband. She knows how to make the house attractive and beautiful. In all this, the Proverbs 31 woman also understands this truth: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). She knows that her appearance, her beauty, her self presentation, her beautiful clothing, keeping fit, being active, indulging in self-care etc. is good but the big factor is that “a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” She therefore makes God her focus in all her ways. The Proverbs 31 woman has both rewards on earth and eternal rewards. Besides being loved and appreciated by her husband and children, she also receives honour.  Proverbs 31 ends on this note: “Honour her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (Proverbs 31:31).

We can take a few lessons from this post:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7). The wisdom to be the Proverbs 31 woman begins with the fear of the Lord. See Job 28:28, Psalm 111:10 etc.

“Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honour.” (Proverbs 15:33). 

“Praise the Lord. Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands.” (Psalms 112:1)

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Whoever fears the Lord walks uprightly, but those who despise him are devious in their ways.” (Proverbs 14:1‭-‬2)

The Proverbs 31 woman: The industrious wife

The number of women in business and industry has shot up in recent years. Many women are actively in fields that were previously considered male-dominated fields. Thus in most parts of the world, there is a higher tendency for women to excel in their careers. Unfortunately, there are still laws and traditions that prohibit women in certain places from advancing in life. Even as we pray that nations and societies will open up to accept women in certain positions, we should also encourage women to be prepared, equipped and made ready to lay hold of opportunities. The Bible presents diverse women who rose up to be important members of their societies. Whereas societies prevented women from voting for a long time, in the Bible, we find women who were judges, influential Queens, rich business owners, religious leaders among many others. Christianity doesn’t oppress women. We see women as instrumental partners of God’s agenda. The Proverbs 31 woman shows a woman of substance, grace and value.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. (Proverbs 31:13)

Other than being a wife of noble character, the Proverbs 31 woman has other amazing qualities. In this post, we shall consider her hardworking and entrepreneurial skills. First, she is crafty with creating clothing for her home and business. Proverbs 31:13 states that “she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.” This all-in-one woman also shops for the best food supplies. Proverbs 31:13 says, “she is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” Not just that, this woman does not allow her work to interfere with her home duties. Therefore, “she gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants” (Proverbs 31:15). As if these are not enough, “she considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard” (Proverbs 31:16). This woman does not leave all her other tasks, but “she sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks” (Proverbs 31:17). The different businesses she manages are not left unattended because this woman “sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night” (Proverbs 31:18). Thus at work and at home, she has a balance, none is left unattended. As if these skills are not enough, this woman is also skilled in home crafts and is diligent in homemaking. Proverbs 31:19 says that, “in her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.”

This woman is really hard working both in her home and at her businesses. Her line of trade might not be relevant to us but her desire for entrepreneurship is worth emulating. She is multifaceted and is not limited to just one thing. She understands the principle of investing in different ventures. In the 21st century, she could have been a career woman working in the industry, managing a side business and actively taking care of her home. She does not focus on one and neglect the other. The reason this woman is so organized and productive is the fact that she plans her day. She wakes up early in the morning and begins her day on an active mode. She understands the dynamics of work and family. She doesn’t sleep all day and wakes up to just watch TV. Even though she has a husband who would be as industrious and supportive as she is, this woman understands that she has to be engaged in profitable ventures. 

Whether working in an office, managing her own business, managing her home, or being a stay-home mother, the Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t slack in her responsibilities. She ensures that her home experiences her presence as much as she is dedicated to her work. Can the 21st Century career woman make time for her home and family considering the demands of work? The answer is YES! It is possible. If you want to keep your home and work life balanced, you need to make sacrifices such as avoiding overtime shifts, being intentional about spending time with your family and avoiding unnecessary time wasters. 

The Proverbs 31 woman: A wife of noble character

There are many nameless women in the Bible. Most of these women point to an actual woman whose name was not recorded by the authors of the Bible. An example is the Shunammite woman. The Shunammite woman made a massive impact in the life of the prophet,  Elisha. She also received a child through prophecy, her dead child was raised to life and her properties were restored to her. But, all that we know is that she was a woman from Shunem. There are other feminine characters who personify specific traits or characters, e.g. wisdom. Further, there are other women who seem to be the perfect depiction of womanhood but do not directly point to a specific person in the Bible. One of such is the Proverbs 31 woman. The Proverbs 31 woman is the ideal woman of most God-fearing men. She seems to be everything a man wants but she does not point to a specific named woman in the Bible. In other words, the author presents this woman as a model woman for God-fearing women. 

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10)

Proverbs 31 is in two folds: the first (verse 1-9) considers the advice King Lemuel received from his mother and the second (verse 10-31) presents a detailed description and character profile of this wife of noble character. This is how the Proverbs 31 woman is introduced: “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10).  Other versions such as the Message Bible (MSG) presents her as this: “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.” The first thing we want to consider about this Proverbs 31 woman is the fact that she has a noble character. Her inner virtues are commendable. She is a good woman and her goodness is visible. Her value is not based on her outer beauty but her inner virtues makes her worth far more than rubies. Thus, any man who finds her has laid his hands on real wealth. She is priceless. Her value stems from her package. She is good, she is strong, she is tenacious, she is bold and daring. The other verses attest to these. Because of her nature, “her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value” (Proverbs 31:11). The husband of this virtuous woman is a blessed man because he is married to a woman who has brought value to his life. This value is based on the different facets of this woman which we would consider in the coming days.

The Proverbs 31 woman also brings to her husband good, not harm, all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:12). Thus, she radiates goodness, her demeanor and nature reflect the goodness of God. Her godly virtues and her desire to excel make her associate with like-minded people. She has no time for baseless and unprofitable conversations. The ultimate goal of this Proverbs 31 woman is to align with God’s will and call on her life. She is busy with things that have eternal and early value. Anytime I read about the Proverbs 31 woman, one thing stands out: she is timeless. Her character and virtues can be incorporated in every generation. In every generation, women with godly virtues are preferred over those who lack good morals. No wonder even the wicked womanizer desires to have a good woman for a wife. 

Can the Proverbs 31 woman survive in the 21st century? Certainly Yes! God-fearing women who desire to have the character of this Proverbs 31 woman should work towards it. It is not automatic! When we become believers, we don’t change overnight to become the Proverbs 31 woman. We need to understand the foundations of our faith, desire growth and mature to become women who are not tossed about by every storm of life. We need to work on ourselves. Remember, the pressures we face are not different from the pressures of womanhood in the 4th Century BC. Women throughout generations are vulnerable and susceptible to pain and hurt. To remain a Proverbs 31 woman is a journey of spiritual growth. It is possible to gain all the academic laurels and never attain the standard of the Proverbs 31 women. A noble and virtuous character is not learned at an academic institution. It is learned under the feet of Jesus.

Dear woman, be willing and ready to be taught,  mentored, equipped and trained for your bigger assignment. Dear man, as you desire to marry a virtuous woman, make it your lifetime priority to become a virtuous husband. Unequal yokes do not balance. The main reason for the challenges in most Christian marriages is the fact that the couple are unequally yoked! Imagine a noble woman married to an ignoble  man and vice versa. The result is disaster!

A wife of noble character

Marriage is honorable in every respect but a wrong union can lead to ones untimely death. It is better to be single than to be yoked together with a godless spouse. It’s like decaying while alive. Make a conscious effort to enter this union only at the right time and with the right spouse.

There is a saying that a good wife is a home builder. The truth is both men and women are home builders. However the woman has certain qualities which helps in building a good home. Many times, young men have been advised against marrying a woman based on her beauty alone but should consider certain qualities that promote a good home.

Solomon was right when he said, “a wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones (Proverbs 12:4). A good character is an asset worth investing into. Remember, a wife of noble character who is married to a man of ignoble character is still a disaster (consider Abigail and Nabal, 1 Samuel 25). 

We recommend our book on marriage which is available on Amazon. Marriage: What makes it work (Understanding the principles and foundations of a successful marriage). You can order for your copy here

If you are yet to marry, we recommend our book “Principle for choosing the right marriage partner” for you. It is available on Amazon and you can order for it here

Principles for choosing the right marriage partner

Prayer: Dear Lord, create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me (Psalms 51:10). Remind me daily to work on my character to be a man/woman of noble character in Jesus name.