Michal: Given to another

Marriage is beautiful but it is not a bed of roses. You will not always have butterflies in your stomach. You would have to be intentional about making your marriage work. Couples need to have a realistic plan and with God on your side, even if there are unfavourable times, you would still sail through. In God’s original plan, a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This is the leaving and cleaving part of marriage. Whenever married couples are manipulated and controlled by parents, we lose the value of leaving and cleaving. We don’t abandon our parents after marriage, we should set barriers as to how far they can be involved in our marital homes. If you require your parent’s permission before taking important decisions with your spouse, you have not fully become one flesh with your spouse. You need godly and sound advice from your parents but ultimately, you make your own decisions with your spouse. What if a parent decides to rip the marital home  of the child apart? What if a parent is an authority that is feared and tries to wrongfully use that authority to mess up the marriage?

The fear of many young men from continents such as Africa and Asia is marrying into extremely rich and powerful homes. Even if the men have done well for themselves, they fear being manipulated by their in-laws. David married a princess of Israel. He knew the implications of marrying a princess of Israel. When Saul made the proposal that David marry his daughter, “David said to Saul, “Who am I, and what is my family or my clan in Israel, that I should become the king’s son-in-law?” (1 Samuel 18:18). When Saul’s attendants told David that the king likes David and that David should marry the king’s daughter, David said, “Do you think it is a small matter to become the king’s son-in-law? I’m only a poor man and little known” (1 Samuel 18:23). David was right at that time, it was not an easy thing to marry the daughter of king Saul. Michal, David’s wife, loved David by all standards but her love was not enough to save her marriage. King Saul hated David and would not rest until he drove David away from the palace to the wilderness. 

But Saul had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Paltiel son of Laish, who was from Gallim. (1 Samuel 25:44)

Michal’s marriage didn’t last because of family intrusion. Her own father messed up her marriage. His strong passion to kill David caused a split between the couple. Michal’s dream of spending her lifetime with David was stalled. She had no option at that time because her father was so powerful and she was powerless. Even her brother Jonathan, who supported David, had to tell David to run for his life. Saul was bent on evil. Did Saul ever realize the harm he might have inflicted to Michal and David because of his wickedness? Maybe he didn’t care about their happiness. All that Saul wanted was power and authority. He felt the presence of David was an indication that his kingdom would be taken from him and given to David. On the faithful day that Saul sent men to kill David, Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped (1 Samuel 19:12). David roamed about for a long time as Saul kept hunting for him. Michal was given to another man. In 1 Samuel 25:44, Saul gives his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Paltiel, son of Laish, who was from Gallim. 

The height of Saul’s intrusive behaviour was taking Michal and giving her to another man. Michal’s marriage to David is broken by Saul. He brings in another man to occupy the position of David. Will David let Michal go? Will Michal ever return to David? The Bible has answers to all these questions. We shall continue this story in our next post.

If you are in a position of power, don’t be manipulative like Saul. Allow the people around you to enjoy their marriages. If you are currently experiencing what Michal and David went through, I pray that God comes through for you. If you are at a standstill and want to know if a relationship with a person from a powerful background is worth it, do you check but most importantly, commit it to God and wait for Him to guide you. If you see potential marks or red flags along the way, don’t ignore them. It better to marry from a humble home and grow your marriage to a world-class model marriage than to marry from the crème de la crème and become a nobody in your own marriage.