The letter to Titus (Part 8)

Our relationship with our employees/employers should be one that is God-glorifying. We cannot claim to love God, honour our church leaders, respect the members of our church and maltreat our employees/employers. Whatever we do to any one should be done with the understanding that we are doing it for the Lord. As Paul continued his instructions to Titus concerning raising a church that meets God’s standards, Paul also admonished Titus to encourage slaves to serve their masters well. At the time of this letter, slaves were workers bought by a master to work for them. Slaves were assigned several jobs depending on what the master does. Sometimes, slaves would escape from their masters just like Onesimus escaped from Philemon. Some of these slaves also heard the gospel and became believers. Paul admonished the slaves through Titus that their new life in Christ should not be that of rebellion but of obedience. Doing that, they will make the teaching of Christ worthwhile.

Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.‭ (Titus 2:9-10)‬

In Titus 2:9-10, Paul admonish Titus to “Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Saviour attractive.” The following key points are important.  First, slaves were to be taught to be subject to their masters in everything. Second, slaves were to please their masters. Thirdly, slaves shouldn’t talk back to their masters. In addition to these, slaves should not steal from their masters. However,  by their godliness,  slaves should rather show to their masters that they can be fully trusted. According to Paul, such a lifestyle will make the teaching about God our Saviour attractive. Here, we see Paul redefining the Slave-Master relationship in every way. The popular notions about this relationship in the days this letter was written was not so attractive. Some slaves were fond of squandering their masters’ resources and such slaves, if arrested, were dealt with harshly. Here Paul’s letter was to have a relationship that is not built in the world’s system but on the understanding that in Christ, there is neither slave nor free. A cordial and lovely relationship between a slave and the master cancels the societal perceptions of this relationship.

Similarly, we have also been called to demonstrate Christ wherever we go. Our workplaces are very important marketplaces for evangelism. We may not have the pulpits to preach at work, but by our lives and approach to our work, we should make it obvious for all to know that we are different. We should learn to appreciate those who are our leaders. Serving in love and humility is not a sign of weakness. We should stay away from malicious people, wicked co-workers, and serve with all diligence as if working for the Lord. We should not make room for people to doubt our faith. Our conversations should be seasoned with salt. We should be trustworthy in all our ways. We cannot promote Christ with our words and promote the devil by our lifestyles. That is living two different lifestyles. As we desire to make Christ known everywhere and everyday, our workplaces should also experience the love of Christ through us. If Jesus was your manager, would you have served Him like you are serving your current manager? If your answer is NO, you still need to have a change of mind.

The letter to Titus (Part 2)

In the introductory blog to Titus, we identified why it was necessary for Paul to assign Titus to the churches in Crete. The issue of renegades leadership preying on the members was so urgent and needed immediate attention. Paul knew that, if the matter was left unresolved, these unscrupulous people who were peddling a different doctrine and turning the church into a Jewish Religious group would end up causing more harm and causing more havoc. Paul didn’t delay. He was quick to send Titus to mitigate the situation. In the letter  to Titus, Paul also specified certain areas that were important and needed immediate attention. In today’s post, we shall consider the need to appoint good elders in the churches.

The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you. ‭(Titus 1:5)

In Paul’s letter to Titus, he informs Titus that: “The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you.” (‭Titus 1:5). Paul knew the importance of appointing elders in the different towns to manage the churches. The elders were expected to be people of specific caliber:
“An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.” (‭Titus 1:6-9).

First, the elder or the overseer should be without blame. Whenever a church leader has issues all round, it definitely means there is something wrong somewhere. The whole church cannot be against a leader who is doing right. Accusations from here and there is an indication that something is wrong somewhere.
Secondly, faithfulness in marriage is a sure requirement for an elder. A cheat, an adulterer, or someone who dishonours the marriage vow is not worthy to be an elder according to Paul. This implies that no matter how supportive or committed one is to the church, if he is not faithful to his wife, he is not worthy of church leadership.
Similarly, the one appointed as an elder should have control over his own children. The first disciples of the elder are the children and keeping them in obedience to God’s words is very important.
In addition to these, Paul wrote that the elder or overseer must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. These characteristics are very important because the elder or overseer is managing God’s house and must be worthy of the task.
Other than the vices listed above, the elder or overseer is expected to be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. These good virtues are relevant for equipping the church.
Finally, Paul admonished Titus that the elder must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. Thus, it is very important that the elder/overseer is a man who rightly divides the word of truth and does not compromise on sound doctrine. The elder must also be one who is able to refute all those who oppose sound doctrine.

Going through this list, you can ask yourself, if I was in Crete, would I have qualified as an elder/overseer? Even if you do not want to attain a leadership position in church,  these things Paul mentioned are very relevant to all believers. We cannot preach Christ when our lives are preaching the devil. None of us walk with x-rays to see what is inside the hearts of people. What we see is what your life presents. Christianity is not just a matter of the heart, it is a lifestyle. Live it, show it and let the world see it.

Are you a Judas Iscariot?

A few years ago, I pondered over the betrayer and how his own lifestyle permitted him to be used by the devil. The betrayer in this context represents Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples appointed by Jesus Christ. Many of us hate Judas Iscariot with a passion for what he did. Given the fact that Judas Iscariot was bold enough to betray his own Lord, master, teacher and friend, it is understandable that we consider him a villian. Unfortunately, many so-called believers are photocopies of the Judas mentality. They go to church on Sundays and on weekdays but they always struggle with evil and sin. In the previous post on the Betrayer, I mentioned that the fact that we go to church always does not make us immune to evil. We need to understand that Judas listened to all the life-changing messages of Jesus. He saw many of the miracles including raising the dead back to life but he still betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Judas was sent and given authority to heal the sick and cast out demons. Judas Iscariot reported together with the rest of the disciples how Satan was subdued by their ministry (see Matthew 10; Mark 6).

Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over. ‭(Matthew 26:14-16)

Judas Iscariot wasn’t a stranger in the ministry of Jesus. In the previous post, I mentioned that he was one of the twelve disciples Jesus prayerfully chose (Luke 6:12-13). Remember, Jesus had spent all night praying on the mountain and after the prayer, He appointed the twelve. The Son of God spent all night praying to choose his apostles and He chose Judas Iscariot as one. Was Jesus not aware that Judas Iscariot would betray Him? Jesus knew the hearts of all men and did not make a mistake in choosing Judas Iscariot.  I also indicated in the post that the betrayer joined the ministry and for three and half years with Jesus, He also impacted lives, propagated the good news and was given authority over impure spirits (Matthew 10; Mark 6). However, Judas still went ahead and plotted with the religious leaders to deliver to them Jesus Christ. In Matthew 26:14-16, we find out that “one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.” ‭(Matthew 26:14-16). Wasn’t Judas aware that his master knew everything? How did Judas feel after he returned to the group as if nothing had happened?

Many believers have a Judas Iscariot mentality. Our way of life is a betrayal to the kingdom of God. Like Judas, although we know the power of God, we still go ahead and betray Jesus each day with our sinfulness. It is like daily taking 30 pieces of silver to sell our Lord to the accusers. We might be so much involved in ministry and like Judas, we might even hold prominent positions at our local churches. Yet, outside the corridors of the church, we are different people. We act differently, we flow with the world and no one can see a difference between us and the unbelieving people. In the post on the Betrayer, I mentioned specific lifestyles of Judas and how these allowed him to be a vessel of the devil.
A thief (John 12:3-6)
He didn’t love the poor (John 12;6)
He was greedy. He secretly went to the high priest to betray Jesus (Matthew 26:14-16, Mark 14:10)
He didn’t love his Lord. He was looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus (Matthew 26:16)
This lifestyle allowed Satan to enter him (John 13:27) and before the other disciples could discover his plot, Jesus had already been betrayed.

If we are not intentional about character conformation to that of Christ, we are likely to be betrayer of Jesus. As Hebrews 6:6 states, when people taste of the goodness of the word of God and of the coming age and fall away into sin, in their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting Him to public disgrace. After all the encounters Judas Iscariot had with Jesus, He went ahead and betrayed Jesus for just 30 pieces of silver. Judas Iscariot didn’t have the opportunity to repent for his sins. He committed suicide even before Jesus was crucified. After the resurrection of Jesus, the Apostles replaced him with Matthias (Acts 1:25). He lost his place on earth and he also lost his place in the new Jerusalem (Revelation 21:4). As we enter into the holy week, sit back and ponder over these things: Are you demonstrating characteristics of Judas Iscariot in the body of Christ? Is your lifestyle betraying our Lord again? Can you be trusted to defend your faith before the “religious leaders” and not give up?

Bernice: The incestuous partner of King Agrippa

The history covered in the Bible considers the good, the bad and ugly lived experiences of those whose stories are presented in the Holy Book. For example, the religious people who were looking forward to God’s coming Messiah worked tirelessly to kill the Messiah and as if that was not enough, they even considered the testimony of the Messiah’s followers as enough reason for them to die. Yet, day in and out, these religious fanatics were praying and trusting God for a Saviour. The irony of the matter was the fact that when one of their fanatic people had an encounter with Jesus, God’s living Messiah, these Jewish authorities did all they could to kill him. Paul, the man with the testimony of Jesus, the words of life and hope, was considered not fit to life. After facing different trials, Paul was left in prison for 2 years by Felix. The new Roman governor Festus, wishing to do the Jews a favor, said to Paul, “Are you willing to go up to Jerusalem and stand trial before me there on these charges?” (Acts 25:9). Paul appealed to Caesar and before Festus sent Paul over to Caesar, he made Paul appear before king Agrippa. The focus of this post is Bernice, the incestuous partner of King Agrippa.

A few days later King Agrippa and Bernice arrived at Caesarea to pay their respects to Festus. (Acts 25:13)

King Agrippa also known as Herod Agrippa II, was the great-grandson of Herod the Great. His father was also known as King Agrippa I and the father died while Agrippa II was a teenager being educated in Rome. Finally, in 48 AD and 53 AD, the new King Agrippa II was given the right to oversee the temple in Jerusalem and ultimately to rule over a larger region northeast of the Sea of Galilee. According to history, Agrippa never married but committed incestuous relationship with his sister Bernice. On the other hand, Bernice married thrice, she was twice a widow and at one time the divorced sister of King Agrippa. At the request of Festus, the case of the righteous Paul was to be determined by the sinful Agrippa and his incestuous sister. On the day of the hearing, “Agrippa and Bernice came with great pomp and entered the audience room with the high-ranking military officers and the prominent men of the city. At the command of Festus, Paul was brought in.” (Acts 25:23). The irony of this case was that Bernice and Agrippa who were the chief culprit and breakers of the Jewish laws were escorted with great pomp while Paul, the man who was propagating righteousness came in chains (see Acts 26:29).

Bernice and her brother Agrippa were committing incest but they were treated as royalty with pomp and glamor. On the other hand, Paul the apostle was treated as the criminal. Who were the real criminals in this case? Both Bernice and Agrippa were Jews and they knew the laws. Paul even acknowledged that Agrippa was “well acquainted with all the Jewish customs and controversies” (Acts 26:3). Yet, he and Bernice had the boldness to openly defy God laws regarding incest between siblings:
“If a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They are to be publicly removed from their people. He has dishonored his sister and will be held responsible.” (Leviticus 20:17)
Agrippa did not marry Bernice but they had sexual relations and it was not done in secret. It was known by all.

It is quite difficult to understand the lifestyle of Bernice from the 1st century perspective. She married three husbands, two of these men died leaving her as widow and she divorced the last man to have sexual relations with her brother. As much as this post is not targeted to condemn Bernice personally, certain things need to be mentioned. The flaws in her character seemed to have attracted to her a man of her type; her pleasure-seeking and never-ready-to-commit brother. These two were birds of the same feature and they openly expressed their love throughout their Jerusalem and Galilee. Even in the extremely liberal 21st century, “Bernices” don’t always flaunt their lifestyle in public delight. Of course there are some modern day “Bernices” who have taken their lifestyle onto the public spaces and wrongly influencing young women about the notion of love and self gratification.

The author of the book of Acts, Luke, carefully presented Bernice not as the wife of Agrippa because she was not (see Acts 26:30). If you are drawn to the lavish lifestyles of certain women, take time to know and understand what they do and where they are coming from. Don’t envy people whose lives are contrary to the word of God. No matter how powerful, rich and famous they become, they remain sinners until they change their ways of lives and accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.
Dear sister, don’t spend time on lifestyles that do not glorify God but rather promote godlessness and immorality. Dear brother, don’t misuse the power and authority you have to promote vile lifestyles. God sees and judges all things.

EVERYDAY CHRISTLIKENESS, Download free ebook

EVERYDAY CHRISTLIKENESS by Michael and Mary Agronah leads readers on a changing journey towards a better understanding and everyday application of Christlikeness. Using biblical principles, the authors provide a complete roadmap for believers to accept and exemplify the character of Christ in their daily lives. The authors explore the concept of Christlikeness and its significance in a believer’s life. Through scriptural references, Michael and Mary set the foundation for readers to comprehend the transformational power of Christlikeness. 

Michael and Mary also provide readers encouragement and practical advice on how to become more Christlike in their daily lives. The authors demonstrate that being a Christlike person is a lifelong pursuit that is made easier by the Holy Spirit’s indwelling.

The book “Everyday Christlikeness” by Michael and Mary Agronah provides readers with a comprehensive strategy for becoming more like Christ. Individuals, small groups, and churches that want to deepen their understanding of Christlikeness and live out their faith in a practical and transformative way would benefit greatly from this book.

This book is available for free download. Click here for your free PDF copy.

This book is part of the series on Christianity and Lifestyle.

A healthy Lifestyle: Your Living Sacrifice

A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: YOUR LIVING SACRIFICE is a faith-based book on healthy living. It provides you a Biblical approach to understanding health and well-being. Mary engages you in a scriptural perspective of a healthy lifestyle. By drawing inspiration from the Bible, she takes the reader on an unforgettable trip through a healthy journey. The book covers important topics that scientists have discovered to be connected to longevity and living a healthy life.

This book is part of Mary’s series on Christianity and Lifestyle. Get your copy here. You can also buy directly from Amazon using your country’s Amazon website.

In this faith-based book on healthy lifestyles, Mary discusses topics such as eating healthy, avoiding junk food and overindulging, exercising on a regular basis, caring for your mental and emotional well-being, relaxation, and making investments in your health and well-being, among others. All discussions are supported by scriptures.

As we seek to grow in our walk with God, we should also desire to have good health. Mary’s approach to understanding health from biblical stance is to motivate you to make the decision to take control of the factors that influence your health and well-being. Mary encourages the reader that the love of God is irrespective of size and shape, who you are, how you look, where you come from and what you have done in your past. But, to live and glorify God even in the flesh, is an intentional journey focusing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. As you read this book, be prepared to change your lifestyle to incorporate healthy patterns. The book highlights a few actions you can take to live a healthier life.

This book does not create a meal plan or exercise routine for you. The book uses scripture to explain how God wants us to care for our health and well-being. There are either questions or suggested action steps at the end of each topic to help the reader develop practical steps to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

About the Author

Mary E. Agronah (PhD) is a wife, a mother, a Christian content writer, a counselor, an academic, a prolific writer and a devout follower of the Lord. She is a disciplemaker who wants everyone to have a good relationship with God. She is passionate about God-centered lifestyles that promote physical and mental well-being. She creates intriguing masterpieces by combining linguistic mastery, creativity, and faith.

Ahinoam of Jezreel and the other wives of David

The Bible is full of women who contributed differently to the progress of God’s bigger plan. Some women were given detailed information and for others, there are  just a few verses written about them. However we cannot jump over them because their stories extend to a bigger story that contributed to God’s story. Some of these women were even unnamed like Sampson’s mother, the wife of Noah, Potiphar’s wife among others. We identify such women from either their husbands or their children. For instance, the wife of Noah played a major role in the story of the flood. We don’t hear God talking to her but her children sustained the earth from extermination. In today’s post  we will consider Ahinoam and the other wives of David. Being wives of a polygamous husband, the stories of these women are overshadowed by the stories of the other wives who were highlighted in scripture. 

David had also married Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both were his wives. (1 Samuel 25:43)

This is how scripture introduces Ahinoam: “David had also married Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both were his wives” (1 Samuel 25:43). Ahinoam is mentioned in the story of David and Abigail. When David fled from Saul, his wife Michal was taken and given to another man. Ahinoam was David’s first wife during his wandering years, after Michal. Ahinoam was from Jezreel. The city of Jezreel witnessed significant events in Biblical history, including the story of Naboth’s vineyard. We’re not told how David met Ahinoam. By the first mention of Ahinoam, she was already married to David. Her husband was a wanderer, a man fleeing from Saul, the king of Israel. Ahinoam experienced at first hand the predicament of living in exile. Together with Abigail and the other women and children in David’s camp, raiders carried them off when David and his men were away. “When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel.” (1 Samuel 30:3‭-‬5). Thankfully, all the captives were rescued. 

Ahinoam was the mother of David’s firstborn: “His firstborn was Amnon the son of Ahinoam of Jezreel” (2 Samuel 3:2b). The second son of David was Daniel the son of Abigail, the widow of Nabal (1 Chronicles 3:1). When Saul died, David left the stronghold and went to Judah. David lived in Hebron as a king over them for seven years. During those times, he married more wives. In addition to Ahinoam and Abigail,  David married Maakah, Haggith, Abital and Eglah. When the kingship was restored to David, he went up to Jerusalem with his wives, Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel, Maakah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah (1 Chronicles 31-4). Amnon, Ahinoam’s firstborn raped Tamar the daughter of Maakah. Absalom, the son of Maakah killed Amnon. Adonijah the son of Haggith was later killed by Solomon, the son of Bethsheba. While in Jerusalem,  David took other wives including Bethsheba the wife of Uriah. All these women lived in the Palace as wives of David.

I am not sure how polygamous homes operate, but David must have been a busy man to marry all these women. The different children from the different wives contributed to the bigger story of David. Michal, David’s first wife remained barren until her death. I personally don’t recommend polygamy and God’s original plan for marriage as instituted in the Garden of Eden was one man and one wife. Many women are drawn to polygamous homes by force. Others are drawn by money and yet others are drawn by the pressures of life. 

A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: YOUR LIVING SACRIFICE

Check this book here here. Available for purchase on Amazon.

A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: YOUR LIVING SACRIFICE

Sarai’s alternative: Go, sleep with my slave

Sarai and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels from Egypt (Genesis 12:16). The couple returned to Canaan with all that they received from Egypt including their male and female servants. Remember, in Egypt, Sarai’s integrity was sacrificed so Abram could survive without the Egyptians attacking him. God intervened to rescue Sarai from the Pharaoh who had taken Sarai because Abram called her his sister. Back in Canaan, the couple lived their lives and continued their relationship with God. In fact, Abram and his cousin Lot parted and Lot chose the best land, Sarai did not complain. Abram and the men in his house had to go and rescue Lot because Lot and all he had were captured, Sarai did not complain that Lot chose the best and must suffer for it. Then in Genesis 15, God renewed his covenant with Abram and reiterated the promise to bless him with a child. “Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.” He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.” (Genesis 15:4‭-‬6)

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. (Genesis 16:1‭-‬2)

A lot happened when the couple returned from Egypt. Suddenly, Sarai had a plan to facilitate God’s promise. She looked through her household slaves and saw Hagar, a slave from Egypt. She scanned Hagar and realized that Hagar would be a good choice to help fulfil God’s promise. Sarai, a woman of class and beauty knew Abram’s taste and as such, she chose the slave girl who could be a good match. Abram had not complained that Sarai should have a child. In fact, Hagar was entirely Sarai’s plan to have a child. It was a common practice those days to have children through your slaves. After Sarai had perfectly crafted her plan, “she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.” (Genesis 16:2‭-‬4)

Hagar wasn’t a bad choice after all. Abram agreed to Sarai’s plan and slept with Hagar. To be the wife of a powerful man like Abram was a big thing. Hagar became pregnant for Abram, the same thing Sarai had been waiting on for years. It must have been a great joy to Sarai and Abram. Sarai could have told Abram, “I told you that Hagar is a good choice” and Abram would have beamed with smiles. But, Hagar had another plan. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress and this situation didn’t go down well with Sarai. The plan seemed good until Sarai felt mocked and disrespected by Hagar. All that Sarai wanted was a child but she felt her position was threatened because her own slave girl was treating her with contempt. The result of this was Sarai’s maltreatment of Hagar until Hagar, the pregnant slave fled (Genesis 16:6). Sarai had a plan to have a child but she didn’t consider the potential effects of rivalry and disrespect. All this time, she had enjoyed the comfort of being Abram’s first lady. But she had a competitor, one Sarai herself planned and brought forth to Abram.

Sarai’s baby plan worked, but she couldn’t stand disrespect and ridicule. The result was her harsh treatment of Hagar. Did Sarai count the cost? Was she scared of losing her position of love and affection? Did she lose her faith in God to fulfill His promise to them? Whatever happened to Sarai, resulted in bitterness and resentment towards her slave girl. The good plan became torn in her flesh. Hagar is pregnant but Sarai isn’t happy. The baby wasn’t the problem, Sarai had a deeper longing that was not satisfied by Hagar’s pregnancy. Sometimes, the things we crave for are not necessarily the things that bring satisfaction to our souls. Only God can satisfy our spiritual and physical emptiness. Sarai, instead of celebrating the pregnancy of Hagar, rather became a bitter woman. Be careful about what you long for, it can make or unmake you. As we ponder on Sarai’s attitude towards Hagar, it important to learn some lessons from Ephesians 4:31-32, 
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Sarai is my sister: Navigating strange lands with lies

I am not sure I understand fully how it feels for a man to be married to a woman whose presence draws attention from men. Will that be taken as a sign of good luck (to be married to the world’s most beautiful) or as a sign to beware (grab your wife before another man grabs her). In both cases, I don’t wish to be seen as a trophy ‘wife’ based on my physical appearance. In our modern day, people go the extra mile to look beautiful and presentable. Some undergo all sorts of life threatening surgeries to enhance their looks, body, shape and these surgeries cost a fortune and an error can leave one deformed permanently. Imagine being in your late sixties and your natural beauty alone is enough to make strangers recommend you to the king? How is that possible? Looking at my mum in her early sixties, I wonder if she will even be taken as a candidate for a beauty contest, let alone win it hands down. Anyway, that kind of beauty at sixty, probably doesn’t exist in our generation. 

Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” (Genesis 12:13)

Sarai left Haran around age 65. We don’t know exactly how long they lived in Canaan before the famine came. Abram and his family had to migrate to Egypt to survive the famine. “As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” (Genesis 12:11-13). Like how? Who cares about an older woman anyway? But Abram was right, Sarai was not just any woman. Her beauty was breathtaking, her presence was exhilarating. She was so beautiful that her husband was aware of the effects she had on other men. What a beauty! But she was still a submissive wife. Finally “when Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that Sarai was a very beautiful woman. And when Pharaoh’s officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his palace. He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels” (Genesis 12:14‭-‬16). Oh, so Abram was right after all. Sarai’s aura was felt in Egypt and because of her, Abram was treated well. I am sure Hagar was one of the female slaves acquired in Egypt. We will consider Hagar’s story another time.

Was it worth the lie? What happened to Abram when his wife was taken to Pharoah? What if God had not intervened? Lies do not save any situation. In fact, Sarai’s submission to a lie could have cost her marriage, and her body. Anytime we lie to save a situation, we need extra lies to cover that one. We recycle the lies each day to cover our guilt. If we lie to secure a spouse, you would have to constantly build more lies to sustain your marriage. Sarai might have been broken and hurt but she followed her husband’s instructions and ended up in Pharaoh’s palace. This is how the Lord intervened:
“But the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram’s wife Sarai. So Pharaoh summoned Abram. “What have you done to me?” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!” Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had.” (Genesis 12:17‭-‬20)

Pharaoh took Sarai to be his wife? I am sure Abram did not sleep through this. 
Dear sisters, before you lie to save the day, think of the consequences and if possible,  consider Sapphira (Acts 5).
Dear brothers, before you make your wife a trophy queen, know that other men will do anything to have what you have. The marriage bed should be undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).