Sarai: Finding strength in the midst of pain

In our modern world, there are still national protests in some countries and territories advocating more rights for women. Until recently, women in a certain country were not even allowed to drive. Women rights have always been human rights. If in the face of technological advances and overblown knowledge, women are still treated as second class citizens in some places, imagine the state of women 1000s of years ago. However, even in these stifling conditions, God still used different women to achieve His purpose and to bring His will on earth. We started a journey with Sarai (later to be known as Sarah) and identified that she was a woman with a burning desire; she was childless. Sarai and her family had enjoyed their lives at Ur of the Chaldeans until she was told that it was time to move. I am not so sure if Sarai was consulted before the relocation. It was time to move on and her father-in-law had plans to take them to Canaan. 

Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Harran, they settled there. (Genesis 11:31)

Ur might have been a place of comfort and fun. It is possible that Sarai had extended family and friends in Ur. Social and family ties serve as a strong support system and we get attached to what we have known for a long time. However, it was time to move and “Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Harran, they settled there” (Genesis 11:31). The plan of Terah to go to Canaan was aborted at Haran. The family settled on a land that was not their final destination. “Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Harran” (Genesis 11:32) without fulfilling the desire of moving to Canaan. Many of us are like Terah, we gear up for big dreams but at the end, we settle for less. Sarai was far away from Ur (where her past life was built) and far away from Canaan (where her future is destined for). Between Ur and Canaan is Haran, the land which was not meant to be the final destination. Settling in Haran does not bring fulfillment. It stalls vision and dreams. In the midst of pain, Sarai was still the support system for Abram. Her inner strength to move and to live shows in her physical appearance (she was well taken care of and a beautiful woman who could catch your attention).

Sarai, the woman with an issue, was in a strange land. Her father-in-law who took them to the land had died. She remained childless and possibly had to keep all her pain to herself. Haran is a new land with new people. Have you ever felt alone surrounded by people you can hardly relate to? Sarai might have felt the same. Have you ever felt that your prayers have taken so long to be answered? Sarai might have felt the same. Have you ever wondered when you will finally get to see what you have been waiting for? Sarai felt the same. She was a woman who moved along with her pain of childlessness. She might have cried at some point, she might have asked Abram to give her a child but she was still strong. She was still the submissive wife who followed her husband wherever he went. When we are dealing with internal pains, sometimes it reflects in our relationship with others. We tend to vent our anger and frustration on people who might not have any idea of the pain we are going through. 

In the New Testament, Peter’s teaching on marital submissions used Sarah (Sarai) as an example; 
“For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1 Peter 3:5‭-‬6)

Dear sisters, no matter the situation we find ourselves, we should not lose ourselves to pain. 
Dear brother, be a support system for your wife, your sister and that female friend. When we cannot find peace, help us to understand that total peace is found in the Lord. 

Like Sarai, the destination might look far, but we will get there in Jesus name. 

Sarai: Dealing with issues

The Bible is very specific about introducing people. Sometimes I ask why specific tags are needed for certain people when we could actually mention the person’s name and just move on. But I have realized that those name tags are given on purpose. Besides name tags, when people are dealing with life’s issues, the Bible does not hide it. It exposes the specific issue and later when there is a change in the person’s life, we are able to see the transformation or the miracle that has taken place. In life, we all deal with different issues: it could be marital, health, financial, or any other thing that causes us to worry. Sometimes, these issues in life can be so overwhelming that it causes us to have sleepless nights. In fact, for most people dealing with different types of life’s challenges, they are at the mercy of those who have overcome those challenges. Grief and pain from life’s challenges can lead one to develop other health related issues. 

Now Sarai was childless because she was not able to conceive.(Genesis 11:30)

Sarai (later known as Sarah) was married to Abram (later known as Abraham). We don’t know about their lives before marriage. What we know is that “Sarai was childless because she was not able to conceive” (Genesis 11:30). Sarai had an issue with childbearing. We are not given details of the medical conditions. I believe there was no scientific diagnosis for whatever reason that was preventing Sarai from conceiving. They did not have access to all the tools we have now. They did not have the option for IVF. Sarai was just introduced as the woman who was unable to conceive. If childbearing is a big thing for most marriages in our day, imagine a highly patrilineal society where having children is necessary for the sustenance of the family line. Sarai must have been a woman with deeper inner struggles because of the inability to conceive. Whether she was married to her sweetheart or the man who loved her above all else, Sarai still had these issues and as such she might have been worried about what was happening. 

Like Sarai, we deal with different issues each day. Life can be full of uncertainties and the fear of the unknown future causes many to worry about their present state in life. Marital challenges have the potential of causing strife and divorce if not handled with godly wisdom. Sickness is also a big issue of life. There are instances that very healthy young couples have been suddenly riddled with life threatening sicknesses that put strains on their marriages. Godly marriages are ordained to last the rain and the storms of life; in sickness and health, in riches and in poverty, for better and for worse. These are not just quotes we rush through during marriage ceremonies to be done with. No! The reality is that life can be a Rollercoaster of good, bad and ugly issues. When one say I do, technically you say that “I will stand by you no matter the challenges we may go through.” Since this commitment is an exchanged vow, both the husband and the wife are committed to stand by their words. It is not a one-sided coin. Abram was aware that Sarai was unable to conceive but we do not find any instance in scripture showing Abram asking Sarai to conceive or he leaves her. In fact, if not for Sarai, Abram wouldn’t have gone for another woman during the lifetime of Sarai. 

Women throughout history have been at the mercies of societal ridicule for things they cannot control such as childbearing. Sarai’s issue later became her testimony after several years. While we pray and hold on to God, we should also be intentional about what we do in-between the waiting time and the time for our miracle. 

Guard your heart

The heart is the remote control of the body. Even if the whole body is strong but the heart is weak, the entire body is affected.  It is therefore important to guide our heart as much as we can. Beside sicknesses that affect the heart, we could also create an environment that causes the heart to be affected. If we fail to put barriers around our heart, we allow everything to enter the heart and some of these ultimately contaminate the heart. No one should desire to walk with an unfiltered heart. We are leaving in strange times and if we fail to control what goes into our heart, we lose control over our own bodies. How do we ensure that we operate with a heart free from all vices that contaminate it? 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)

The book of Proverbs presents different ways to keep the heart safe. Proverbs 23 gives advice about getting wisdom at all cost. If we operate in wisdom, we secure our heart from things that are not relevant. We are admonished to guard our hearts at all cost: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). What we allow to enter our hearts hold the key to the issues in our lives. The NKJV version states that, “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” We are responsible for regulating what goes into our hearts. If we allow bad thoughts and impure ideas to enter our hearts, they stay in there and regulate our actions. If we allow good thoughts to enter our hearts  they stay in there and bear good fruits. Even our health is largely dependent on what we allow to enter our hearts.

When we understand that our hearts are the remote control of our lives, we will be considerate with whatever goes into it. Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, sinful actions etc. begin with what we allow into our hearts. Our actions are a reflection of a much bigger picture: pouring out what is in our hearts. If we allow good things into our hearts, we reflect goodness in our lives. If we allow bad things to enter our lives, we reflect evil. Whether we live healthy lifestyles or unhealthy lifestyles is a reflection of what goes into our hearts. Whether we live cheerfully or bitterly is a reflection of what goes on in our hearts. Whether we get happy for the progress of others, or we get jealous that others are advancing in life, is a reflection of what goes into our hearts. Paul in his letter to the Phillipian church made these profound statement:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Make a conscious effort to allow things that will not harm your heart to have access to your heart.