His plans for you are good

At the end of every year, many people curate new year resolutions to guide their lives for the next one year. In this resolution are plans to ensure growth, sustainability and development. Although some people barely live up to their resolutions, it is still important that one has a plan for the year. Like many people, when we fail to achieve our plans, we tend to blame ourselves and push ourselves to do more for the coming year. When we fail to plan, we automatically plan to fail. Thus, it is important to make plans to excel in all we do. Do you have plans for this year, this month and this week? Are you on course? Do you have a backlog? What is your next course of action to ensure that you stay on course?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ‭‭(Jeremiah 29:11)

God also has a plan for us. Yes, He does! He has the most perfect plans to prosper us, the most perfect plan to protect us from harm, the most perfect plan to give us hope and the most perfect plan for our future. These are captured in Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This statement was originally made to the Jews in exile in Babylon. These exiled Jews were hopeless and felt God had left them in the hands of their captors. Mind you, their exile was triggered by their own sins and unrepentant hearts. Yet, even in such an unpleasant circumstance,  God still had a plan for them. Imagine us who have received the redemption work of the Son of God and have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. God in his infinite love and mercy has made good plans for us.

Understanding who you are in Christ is the first step to enjoying all the good plans that have been made available for you. As Romans 8:17 put it, ‬‬”Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” Our positional advantage in Christ has secured for us the good plan of God. We are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ. Our prosperity,  our protection, our hope and our future are all in God’s plan for us. To better enjoy these goodies, we need to be aligned with God’s will for our lives. These are spelt out vividly in scripture. We can’t have it our own ways and still expect God’s plan to work for us. It is not possible. We are so much-loved but it is our responsibility to obey God’s words. His plan is embedded in His word.

Sarah and Hagar: Pictures in the New Testament

Two women from the Old Testament who have greatly influenced world religion are Sarah and Hagar. We looked at Sarah and Hagar and considered their stories at the beginning of the studies into the lives of the women in the Bible. Like many of the women recorded in the Bible, Sarah and Hagar’s stories remind us of the struggles of many women across the world. In Sarah’s bid to get a child for her husband at all cost, Hagar was given to Abraham and the birth of Ishmael (by Hagar) and later Isaac (by Sarah) brought a generational conflict between the descendents of the two. Till date, the world still faces the outcome of Sarah and Abraham’s decision. Apostle Paul, writing to the church in Galatia used the stories of Sarah and Hagar to explain two covenants.

For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. (Galatians 4:22)

The church in Galatia received the apostolic letter from Paul in response to some agitators who infiltrated the ranks of the church challenging Paul and his teaching. Paul expounded on the fact that Jesus Christ was God’s plan of redemption and that the call of Abraham and the subsequent selection of Israel was all part of God’s bigger plan of redemption. As Paul made his arguments, he brought into the story two prominent matriarchs in the history of Israel and world religion at large. Paul stated that, “Tell me, you who want to be under the law, are you not aware of what the law says? For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born according to the flesh, but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a divine promise.” (Galatians 4:21‭-‬23). Why would Sarah and Hagar be relevant in Paul’s message? Paul explained that, “These things are being taken figuratively: The women represent two covenants. One covenant is from Mount Sinai and bears children who are to be slaves: This is Hagar. Now Hagar stands for Mount Sinai in Arabia and corresponds to the present city of Jerusalem, because she is in slavery with her children. But the Jerusalem that is above is free, and she is our mother.” (Galatians 4:24‭-‬26).

Thus, Sarah and Hagar represent two covenants: a physical covenant and a spirit covenant. Hagar represents the physical manifestation of sonship. The union between Abraham and Hagar was not in the perfect will of God. Therefore, although Hagar still bore a son for Abraham, Isaac, the son of Sarah, was the one God referred to as “your only son, whom you love—Isaac—” (Genesis 22:2). God’s promise of redemption was fulfilled through the seed of Isaac. Paul alludes Hagar as the reflection of the old covenant, the covenant that “bears children who are to be slaves” (Galatians 4:24). There are many people who still hold on to the covenant from Mount Sinai. They consider the election of Israel but fail to see that Jesus was the full culmination of God’s redemption plan. Such people are still slaves to sin and fear. The punishment of the Law still hangs around their necks. However, Sarah and her seed represents “the result of a divine promise” (Galatians 4:23). Sarah represents redemption and hope.

Even as we consider Sarah and Hagar as figurative of these two covenants, it is important we check the state of our allegiance. Is our hope built on Christ’s finished works on the cross or on our own strengths? By our own strength, we can never match up to the standards of God. Jesus paid the full price on the cross so that we become sons of God through divine adoption.

Women in the Old Testament: Conclusions

For the past several months, I have shared with you the lives of the women in the Old Testament. We have seen the things we can learn from them and the things we need to avoid through the mistakes they made. We have also discovered ways we could be better and impact our families, communities, nations and the world at large.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

We have seen God’s agenda for creating the woman: “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18). This is very significant because helpers are important for the growth and increase in the people they help. For example, when Jesus was about to ascend to Heaven, He promised His disciples that He will send the Holy Spirit who is the Helper to them: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:4‭, ‬8). Prior to Jesus’ death and Resurrection, He told His disciples this: “I have told you these things while I am still with you. But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you.” (John 14:25‭-‬26 AMP). Through the power of the Holy Spirit, the universal church has grown even in the midst of Oppression and persecution.

Imagine a woman as the helper suitable for the man! God made the woman for more. Although through the Old Testament, we see women who underwent societal oppression making them vulnerable, we also identified women who made maximum impact in their families, societies and nations. Whenever a woman availed herself, God worked amazing things through that woman. Remember, God made the woman to impact the world. Anytime women face oppression, know that it is not the plan of God.

You can go back and read all the posts on women in the Old Testament. There were a few women whose accounts were not published but will form part of the compendium that will be released later. Watch this space!

If you have any question that has been unanswered throughout this series, please comment under this post or send me an email via michaelandmaryagronah@gmail.com. Visit our website www.michaelandmaryagronah.com for more Bible blogs and also to check up on our bookstore. God bless and see you in the New Testament!

Rahab: No longer a prostitute but an ancestor to Jesus

The Bible has unique ways of presenting characters based on their past experiences. One woman whose experience or past life became her personal attribute in the Old Testament is Rahab. Who was Rahab? She was a native of Jericho whose occupation was prostitution. Rahab was therefore known as “Rahab the prostitute” and as shameful as this name tag sounds the Bible writers did not spare Rahab of her previous lifestyle. Why do we need to know Rahab’s experience to be able to fully associate with her? You and I are definitely not prostitutes, but we are sinners who have been redeemed just like Rahab. The conquest of Jericho was made possible because Rahab did a heroic rescue of the Hebrew spies. After Moses died, Joshua became the next leader of the Hebrews and Jericho was one of the cities Joshua and the people needed to conquer. Unlike other cities, Jericho has a walled city and the walls were big enough to make a perfect road for horses. The walls themselves were made from undressed stones so by human standards, the width and the height seemed like an impossible task for anyone to break. Although the people of Jericho were securely protected by these huge and high walls, inwardly, they were afraid of the people of Israel. Confirming this, Rahab said to the spies: “I know that the Lord has given you this land and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you.” (Joshua 2:9). 

So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there. But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. (Joshua 2:1‭b, ‬4)

When the king of Jericho heard of the spies, he quickly sent messengers to the house of Rahab: “Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land.” (Joshua 2:3b). Surprisingly, Rahab did not release the spies to the king. She took the two men and hid them. She told the messengers, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, they left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them.” But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof (Joshua 2:4‭b-‬6). Rahab understood that the spies had an important assignment and that her life and that of her family depends on her quick intervention. Instead of aligning with her people she chose to be an ally to the spies. She gave the spies the rescue plan and she and her family were promised salvation. The sign for Rahab’s rescue was a scarlet cord tied in the window. The mission of the spies was successfully accomplished and operation “Jericho must fall” began shortly afterward. Through the power of God, Jericho was defeated and the mighty walls fell down not by an act of man but through the power of God. Rahab and all the people with her were rescued. The rescued people became part of the people of God.

Rahab, the shamed, disrespected, and possibly ignored prostitute, changed her destiny and that of her family with an act of kindness towards the spies. Obviously, her trade of prostitution ended within the walls of Jericho. She became a new person and was married to Salmon from the tribe of Judah. Matthew’s gospel in presenting the family line of Jesus did not miss Rahab: “Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab” (Matthew 1:5a). Boaz was the father of Obed, and Obed fathered Jesse and Jesse was the father of king David. The helpless prostitute did not just find salvation, she birthed the ancestors of God’s own Son. While she would have been least expected to be part of God’s plan for humanity, God chose to rewrite Rahab’s story together with His big story of salvation. From a shamed and rejected prostitute, Rahab overtook her own limitations and became one of the greatest women in the history of the Church. 

God is not limited by our past. He sees beyond our sins and He is ready to shape the story of anyone who is willing to let go of their “pompous Jericho” and rely on Him to offer salvation into the Promised Land. It doesn’t matter where you were, where you are and where you are headed to. “Are you ready to say Goodbye to the Jericho lifestyle and turn to Him to change your story around?”

Woman: taken out of man

Recently, I got the opportunity to take part in a quiz competition organized by the women’s ministry in my church. The focus was on hidden heroines in the Bible. The Bible is not a misogynistic book. In fact, from the beginning to the end, we see different women in different positions. God made the male and the female and He loves both genders equally. For the next few weeks, we shall spend time studying the lives of some women in the Bible. We will consider the good, better and the best of women, and the bad, worse, worst of women mentioned in the Bible. Each character presents an opportunity for us to learn. It could be a new knowledge to attain, or an attitude to avoid. No name in the Bible is insignificant. Even those who were considered a bad influence, give us an opportunity to avoid certain character traits. 

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:23)

On the sixth day of creation, God made mankind. The Genesis 1 verse 27 accounts states that, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” The first lesson here is that both males and females are God’s creation and both received God’s blessing, the command to be fruitful and the mandate to have dominion over creation: “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” (Genesis 1:28)
The Genesis 2 account of creation specifically presents the step by step creation process. Let’s look at the following verses:
“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:7‭, ‬18‭, ‬20‭-‬23)

From these verses, we identify that God saw the need for man (the male person) to have a helper. Thus, the woman came to fulfill a need. Woman was taken from the man, she is a bona-fide part of the man. She was presented to the man and the man named her woman because she was taken out of man. The female gender has faced a couple of struggles since antiquity. However, we see from today’s memory verse that the man was impressed by his female helper. So why do women still face oppression in modern day societies? We shall consider some biblical principles of building a good character as a female and how to overcome oppression. 

No creation of God is worthless, you are here for a purpose. God does not discriminate against genders. He loves the male and he loves the female. If you ever feel less loved, know that your Maker loves you and has made every provision to ensure that you remain in His love. Do you love Him?

Look at the heavens, Come to Him and be satisfied

Have you ever felt extremely thirsty and yet you did not have access to water? What did you do when you finally found something to quench your thirst? I guess your answer is, “I drank and was satisfied.” Thirsting for water can be a daunting experience for people without access to it. Did you know that our souls can also thirst for the presence of God just like we desire to be satisfied when we are thirty? In Isaiah 55, God gives an invitation to the people to come to Him and have their spiritual emptiness filled by His provision. The clarion call is popular in evangelistic messages:
“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.” (Isaiah 55:1‭-‬2)

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

How can God satisfy our spiritual hunger? The presence of God fills our hungry souls. In fact, human beings have insatiable needs and no politician can completely satisfy our souls. The emptiness in our lives can only be filled with the presence of God. How does God do that? First, we have the responsibility to seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near (Isaiah 55:6). God has a plan to dwell in humanity. He has made a way to abide in us. Through Jesus, we have a personal relationship with God. No matter how far we have gone from Him, God is ever willing to return to us when we seek Him. God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not ours. Why will God choose to forgive us our sins when we turn to Him? He loves us (John 3:16). If you are still struggling to comprehend God’s ways, look at the heavens. God says: 
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:8‭-‬11)

God’s love is so high that we cannot jump over it. He used the heavens, rain, snow, and planting to show us how His word nourishes and feeds us. Every word spoken by God will not return to God empty but will fulfill the purpose for which God sent that word. No matter how far we might have gone from God, He wants us to come to Him and He will satisfy our souls. What do we do when we return to Him? The word of God says: “Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon.” (Isaiah 55:7)
When we return to God, He gives us reasons to rejoice. He promised the Israelites that when they return to Him, He will do this:
“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever.” (Isaiah 55:12‭-‬13)

God used nature to reveal His desire to satisfy our souls. His love for us is higher than the mountains but we can only experience it when we come to Him. It is a personal decision and we have the sole responsibility to either accept or decline. 

What are you doing here?

Have you gotten to a point that you feel, you are all alone? Have you ever asked yourself, “How did I get to this unpleasant situation?” It can be overwhelming to be in a condition that affects your life and general well-being. If you are in a tough situation that gives you sleeplessness, know that someone cares for you. Never feel all alone. Elijah experienced a “wow moment” with the contest against the prophets of Baal and the rains after the drought. He had a big ministry highlight that obviously announced him to all Israel. Baal worshippers were threatened and God-worshippers were excited. However, Jezebel, the wife of the king, had plans to kill Elijah. “So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.” Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there.” (1 Kings 19:2‭-‬3)

There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:9 ESV)

The same man who single handedly destroyed 450 prophets of Baal, ran away from one woman (the powerful wife of the king). The king feared Elijah’s words and did as the prophet requested, but Elijah feared the words of the king’s wife. It sounds ridiculous but Jezebel was a dominant force in Baal worship and Elijah’s destruction of Baal’s prophets caused Jezebel to retaliate. Couldn’t have God saved Elijah from Jezebel’s hands? Definitely, God’s plan was much bigger. Elijah was bold to meet the king but fled from the king’s wife to Mount Horeb. “There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:9 ESV). Have you ever asked yourself a similar question? Sometimes, after experiencing amazing testimonies, a little situation comes that causes you to run helter, skelter. Today, God is asking, “what are you doing here?” 

When life takes you to a lowest point, you do not stay there. You can make a message out of your state or you can create a mess out of it. No Jezebel is bigger than our God. No matter how much life’s challenges rages on, there is always a small voice of peace and restoration. The Lord said to Elijah, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:11‭-‬13)

If you are currently running into the Horeb of your life, wondering, “where is God?” God is whispering to you, “what are you doing here? Get up and move on. I have reserved for you legions of angels at your beckoning. I have good plans for you. Just let go of your fears and trust me. I am the God of the good times and the unpleasant times. Trust me to deliver,  protect and bring you to the expected end.”

New Season: His plans and your plans

Whenever we begin a new month, I am quick to check my new year resolutions to know where I am currently at in fulfilling my plans for the year. I believe many people are in similar situations. For me, it helps to track progress and growth. Wherever I fall short, in achieving a desired goal,  I go back to the drawing board to consider what can be done. While we aim to ensure that we accomplish our new year’s resolutions, we should not lose sight of the fact that we need God’s grace and favour to be able to fulfill these plans. If my resolution was to stay healthy, being alive is important for me to stay healthy. While we can control our food intake and fitness needs for a healthier lifestyle, we cannot determine whether we will have a baby, have a new job, meet our life partner etc. The fulfillment of these plans are not determined by our efforts alone. Do you still have unaccomplished plans? Have you tried your best to have these plans come through? Have you poured your heart to God about it? Can you see a tiny finger of breakthrough?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

We have our plans and God has plans for us. Sometimes it feels like taking a slow train to your most urgent destination. The year runs too fast and we tend to feel anxious about the plans that are unfulfilled. I can remember the number of times that I woke up expecting to see a fulfillment but had to retire to bed in the evening with “no show.” Maybe you have been through a similar situation and you are currently at the verge of giving up. It is a new season, and giving up is not an option.  Remember, God’s words in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Continue to work on that plan, stay focused, reach out to people who have been in similar situations for help. Don’t lose faith and don’t stop praying. 

The road might look barren but we serve a God who turns barren lands to fruitful havens. It is also important to consider the motives behind the things we desire for. Are they to gratify ourselves alone? How will these plans affect our world positively? Have we considered how God will be honoured in these plans? Today, let’s consider our plans in the light of God’s plans. Remember that His grace is sufficient to accomplish our deepest desires. Pray with me:

Dear God, I thank You for the many blessings You have given me. I present before you these plans (name your requests). I put my trust in You for the fulfillment of these plans. I have seen and heard how others encountered difficult seasons and You turned things around for them. Help me to fully trust in You for completion. Take away my fears and anxiety and help me to depend on You. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

God has a plan for you!

The marriage principle of transparency

My kids love to watch Superbook, a Bible-based animation. In this animation, the main characters (2 children and a robot) always get transported into the past and they experience the lived lives of Bible characters and they also learn important lessons. The video on “In the beginning” shows Adam and Eve walking about in the Garden with no clothes on. The robot couldn’t deal with it and had to program itself by putting on imaginary dresses on the couple. As funny as this sound, Adam and Eve had their period of nakedness while in the Garden of Eden. They were literally naked and yet, they were not ashamed. The principle of nakedness is very important in marriage. Nakedness here means transparency and openness. The fact that the couple were not ashamed of their nakedness meant that God didn’t create them to be ashamed of it.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:25)

We should be careful not to equate this nakedness presently to going about without clothes. In fact, if any couple should make that attempt, I am sure they will be assigned psychiatric doctors. Adam and Eve’s nakedness was before the fall of man. They lived in perfect condition and the glory of God encapsulated them. They were living a life without sin. Nothing was hidden. They were aware of themselves and what they had. Transparency in marriage should include making our lives very open to our spouses. No human should know our deepest thoughts and feelings than our spouses. It includes sharing our bodies (sexually) and enjoying deep intimacy together. It also includes financial transparency: we should not hide our money from one another. These days, even technological transparency is important. We should not put unnecessary codes and passwords on our phones without sharing them with our spouses. Afterall, if you have nothing to hide, you should be comfortable giving your spouse access to your phone.

Our understanding that marriage presents the highest form of transparency among human relationships should urge us to be transparent with our spouses. It is not a one-way affair: “Adam and Eve were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:25). As soon as we start feeling the need to hide our dealings with our spouses, we should know that transparency is broken. We shouldn’t be shy to discuss our deepest thoughts and feelings together. Family and business goals should be shared together. Couples should be transparent enough to even discuss their sexual concerns so that they can be satisfied. The reason most couples refuse to be transparent to one another is as a result of trust issues. Many marriages have become susceptible to “leaked information” because one partner got tired of the marriage and decided to let the whole world know of their partner’s weakness. 

When we begin our marriage based on God’s principles, we avoid some of these challenges. However, it is never too late to go back to the basics. Genesis is the best place to start out. God designed marriage and His manual is the manufacturer’s guide for marriage. I recommend our books on marriage, choosing a marriage partner and humility for you. Until we are humble enough to accept God’s plan for our marriages, we will be running a different course. Remember, Adam and Eve were naked but yet, they were not ashamed. 

The marriage principle of one flesh

On the day I had my wedding,  the pastor who officiated the service told several stories about what happens in marriage. One of the stories was about a husband who intelligently defended the wife when the wife cooked a very delicate meal with the wrong recipe. The husband told his friends that he taught the wife that recipe just to avoid the friends making mockery at the wife. When the friends left, this husband showed the wife how to cook the recipe well. He did not expose the wife’s weakness in public. The pastor concluded that since marriage makes the couple one flesh, the man identified with the shame of the wife and stood in for her. He did not want the wife to feel humiliated, because indirectly the man would have been humiliated too. A cliché I got exposed to while growing up is “no one takes money to marry their enemy.” But, I think these days, lots of couples seem to be living with their enemies. 

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

The principle of one flesh implies that the couple become one in the sight of God. They don’t lose their individual personalities but the two different people form a new flesh. God sees the couple as one. The unity between the married man and the woman is expected to be so strong that it is difficult to pull apart. The only way to break one flesh is to cut it apart. This oneness is not sameness but an identity that causes them to see themselves as a unified whole. They cover one other’s weaknesses and help each other to grow. They see the success of one as the unified success of the couple. Unity pushes forward a formidable force. In Genesis 11, it took God Himself to thwart the plans of the people to build a tower because the people were united. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them” (Genesis 11:6). 

The deep unity God expects from marriage is the main reason identifying the vision of your partner is important. This ideally should be a premarital step. You need to know how you fit into each other’s life. This makes it easy to experience the principle of one flesh. With this same unity, a couple builds their home, raises godly offspring, builds their ministry, builds their businesses etc. As no one acting normally hurts themselves, when we fully understand one flesh, we do not hurt one another because the implication is hurting self. We bear one another’s burdens. We share each other’s joy. We feel each other’s pain. No one leaves their legs in the midst of trouble because the leg accidentally hits a bar and gets wounded. The pain is experienced by the whole body. Even though the hand is innocent of causing the pain, it feels the pain and applies healing balm on the leg until the leg is healed. This is applicable to one flesh in marriage: the couple feels one another’s pain and does not abandon the other in trouble. 

Remember, the devil’s attacks against marriage include taking our eyes off some of the foundational principles of marriage. He is constantly introducing something to make couples refuse the idea of one flesh. Do not give the devil a footstool in your home. He will take charge of everything.