Rebekah and the stolen blessing

Rebekah and Isaac as we saw earlier, had their favourite sons. Esau was for Isaac and Jacob was for Rebekah. Now, “when Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. Now then, get your equipment—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.” (Genesis 27:1‭-‬4). Isaac’s love for Esau was so tied to wild game that before he could give his son his final blessing, Esau had to first hunt for a game and make food for his father. That doesn’t sound like unconditional love. “No meat, no blessings”, kind of love is not the one God has shown to us. And this is where it gets messier. Rebekah loved Jacob and would do anything for him. “Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back” (Genesis 27:5). “Will Rebekah pretend she didn’t hear what Isaac said?” You know the answer, right?

Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.” (Genesis 27:9‭-‬10)

What a bag of mess? The couple’s public display of favouritism was about to generate a family feud. After recalling the instruction Isaac gave to Jacob, “Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau…Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.” (Genesis 27:6‭, ‬8‭-‬10). Rebekah wanted Jacob to steal the blessing meant for Esau. Although Jacob protested against the idea because of their physical differences, Rebekah had the perfect work plan to disguise Jacob to make him look like Esau. After Rebekah cooked the food just like Isaac loved it, she went ahead to disguise Jacob to look like Esau. The plan worked and Jacob presented the food to his father. Isaac was surprised at the speed of making the food. Since Isaac was blind, he was deceived by the smell of Esau (Jacob was in Esau’s clothes) and the goatskin body of Jacob. The blessing was given to Jacob fullscore. Isaac blessed him from his heart. Afterall, He thought he was blessing Esau, his firstborn and favourite son. Jacob  through the orchestrated effort of Rebekah stole the blessing meant for Esau.

What was Rebekah’s motivation for helping her son to deceive her husband? Was it because of the prophecy given to her that the oldest will serve the youngest? Was it because of her love for Jacob? Ultimately Rebekah was totally wrong for initiating the biggest sibling rivalry. God didn’t seek for her hand to bless Jacob. Her actions had further consequences. “Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob” (Genesis 27:41). When Rebekah got to know of Esau’s plan, she hitched her plan B. She told Jacob, “Flee at once to my brother Laban in Harran. Stay with him for a while until your brother’s fury subsides. When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I’ll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?” (Genesis 27:43‭-‬45). The fact is, Rebekah never saw her loving son again. By the time Jacob returned from his long journey,  Rebekah had already died. The stolen blessing rid her of her beloved son and officially gave Jacob the tag, “the deceiver”. For most part of Jacob’s adult life, he went through a circle of deception, either from him, from the people around him or from his own children. Years later, Esau would forgive Jacob for stealing his blessing but it took them over 20 years to fix the mess caused by Rebekah. 

Rebekah was beautiful, hardworking, strong, resilient, loving but she had her own flaws that generated into a family feud. Whenever we work on ourselves, we should not only be interested in building our strengths. We should find the best ways to overcome our weaknesses. If we overlook our weaknesses, they will move from a tiny serpent to a big dragon dragging us far away from God’s perfect plan for us. Every lie told is a step away from God and a step closer to the devil. Thou shall not lie!

Parenting gone wrong: Rebekah loved Jacob and Isaac loved Esau

One parenting strategy I learned quite early is to love all your children equally irrespective of their skills and attitudes. A public show of affection one child over the other is a recipe for conflict and confusion. No matter how difficult one child is in comparison to the other(s), parents should be intentional about making all the children feel loved. Imagine showing more affection for other children and less affection for some, the result is hatred and mistrust. Every child deserves to be loved and irrespective of their flaws, parents should be intentional about making them feel loved. Afterall, when the parents pass away without intentionally working to bring peace in the family, they leave behind a baggage of mess and brokenness. The children tend to continue the circle of selective love and end up hating each other for no reason. Rebekah and Isaac were culprits of “Parenting gone wrong.” They publicly showed their preference for one child over the other.

Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. (Genesis 25:28)

Esau and his brother had different personalities. When they grew up, Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents (Genesis 25:27). The two children had different preferences and this is not new. No two people including twins are ever the same. Now this is where the parents got it wrong: “Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob” (Genesis 25:28). Isaac’s love for Esau was based on his taste for wild game but Rebekah just loved Jacob. Now let’s decipher this deeper looking at the other background variables. First, Esau being the first child legally had the birthright and was the heir to Isaac. Rebekah had been told by God that the younger child would be the head over the elder. Jacob being the youngest was also the “mummy’s boy type” who was content to stay home. Could any of these variables trigger the parents’ love? Although Esau foolishly gave away his birthright for a pot of stew, Isaac still considered him as the firstborn and as such worthy of all the blessings that comes to the firstborn son. 

To add more insult to injury, Rebekah and Isaac had to deal with Esau’s choice of wife and the consequences of it. Remember,  Abraham had gone to his family to get a wife for Isaac but, “when Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah” (Genesis 26:34‭-‬35). Esau definitely did not follow the family tradition of choosing a wife and his actions brought grief to his parents. Ultimately, Rebekah had more issues with Esau and considering all the background information, Rebekah was ready to make sure that Esau wouldn’t enjoy the blessings of the firstborn. Does it really matter to show unconditional love to your children irrespective of their flaws? The truth is it really matters. Just as God so loved us with all our flaws and weaknesses, as parents, we need to be intentional about demonstrating love to our children. Esau might have had enough reasons to be the hated one, but he deserved love and affection from his mother. Isaac might love wild game but Jacob needed all the love of his father.

The consequences of these preferences set the stage for a big drama in the future that led the twins to be on loggerheads. Rebekah might have genuinely expressed her feelings based on both interests and prophesy, but the path she took with Isaac (to love one child over the other) is wrong. What if Isaac receives a fake wild game from Jacob who pretends to be Esau? What if Esau decides to stay in the tent and to marry a woman who will please the parents, will Rebekah’s decision to love him less change?
Before you begin a permanent feud among your children through public display of love for one and hatred for another, read the consequences of the actions of Rebekah and Isaac in Genesis 27. We shall look at that in our next post. 
Big tip: Parents should love all their children equally irrespective of their flaws. Never show favouritism and hatred. These two are a recipe for conflict and confusion. 

An answered prayer: Rebekah is going to have babies

Eliezer’s journey was successful. Rebekah gladly followed him to become the wife of Isaac. As they approached Isaac’s home, “Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” (Genesis 24:64‭-‬67). Rebekah’s presence took away the pain that the death of Sarah brought on Isaac. She comforted him and he loved her. But Rebekah had an issue. The same issue Sarah had and battled with it for years. Rebekah was childless. It might have been quite frustrating for the new couple as they had to revisit pain of the past. However, this time, the approach to resolving the issue was different. 

Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. (Genesis 25:21)

Sarah’s resolution was to have Hagar to have a baby with Abraham. The implications were not so desirable. Isaac and Rebekah had a better approach. They prayed! Genesis 25:21 states that “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.” Such a joy! It was not a straightforward pregnancy. Rebekah had the most unlikely situation in her womb, “the babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” (Genesis 25:22‭-‬23). Rebekah’s pregnancy was no ordinary pregnancy. She was carrying two nations who will ultimately separate. How did Rebekah deal with this news? Was Isaac aware of the fact that they were going to have two separate nations in the house? As ridiculous as it sounds, Rebekah’s womb was the practice grounds for the rivalry. Right there, the babies refused to cooperate.

Rebekah’s delivery was no ordinary one. “When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them. (Genesis 25:24‭-‬26). Remember that Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah (Genesis 25:20). Thus, the couple waited for twenty years until Esau and Jacob were born. Rebekah might have been so happy to become a mother. As she looked into the faces of her sons, she also knew that, in the future, she would see two rival nations out of her sons. Rebekah was aware that Esau (the older) would serve Jacob (the younger). As they remained babies, she might have relished every moment spent with them. But deep in her heart, she knew that the future would be a bit messy. Rivalry and hatred might erupt and this would possibly lead to separation. 

What do you do when faced with a future with uncertainty? Whenever we are faced with uncertainty,  we should go back to God and He will show us the way forward.