Life-changing decisions

Have you ever encountered a moment in your life that you had to make a life-changing decision? What was it about? Change in lifestyle, marriage decisions, letting go, accepting Jesus Christ, choice of spouse, among many others are decisions that can ultimately influence one for a lifetime. As a result of the influence of these decisions, it is usually recommended that one spends time to pray, consult and wait to hear from God before making such important decisions. In the Old Testament, one woman made a life-changing decision at the spur of the moment. She was so confident about her choice that she left no room for her mother-in-law to convince her otherwise. Ruth’s story recorded in the book of Ruth is a testament of the choices we make and the consequences of it. Ruth left her family, her people, her gods, her friends and everything she was used to and embraced a new life.

But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ‭‭(Ruth‬ ‭1:16‬)

When Naomi, her mother-in-law tried to convince her to go back to her own people, this was Ruth’s emphatic reply: “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” ‭‭(Ruth‬ ‭1:16‬). What life lessons can we learn from Ruth? Let’s consider the following:

Faithfulness: ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭20:6‬ states that “Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?” Faithfulness in relationships is a high-priced commodity and it is not easy to come by. For Ruth, she experienced the highs and lows of Naomi in Moab. She saw Naomi have it all and then lose it all. Infact, as at the time Naomi was leaving for Bethlehem Judea, she was very poor and there was no way to believe that her life would be transformed in Bethlehem. She was a childless old widow. No wonder Orpah listened to Naomi and turned back to her people. From Naomi’s own mouth, the hand of the Lord had turned against her and she had nothing to offer (see Ruth 1:11-13). However,  Ruth refused to return to her people. Her unfailing love for Naomi was not based on the things Naomi had. She clinged on to Naomi until Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, and she stopped urging her to return (‭‭Ruth‬ ‭1:18‬). If God should bring a scale to check how faithful we are to Him and the people around us, would He find a faithful person like Ruth? One who is not moved by what she sees and the circumstances. One who is moved by love!

Lifestyle change: When Ruth made the decision to follow Naomi,  she also committed to change her lifestyle to that of Naomi. The Moabites were pagans and Naomi was a Jew who believed in Elohim (God). When Ruth professed that “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” ‭‭(Ruth‬ ‭1:16‬), she indirectly committed to lifestyle change. Ruth was ready to follow Naomi, to stay with Naomi, to accept Naomi’s people as her own, to accept Naomi’s God as her own. This lifestyle change encompassed physical appearance change, emotional adjustments, spiritual orientation, changes in food choices, learning a new language, cultural changes among many others. From my experience one of the challenges with cross-cultural evangelists and even cross-cultural marriages has to do with having a high view of the new culture. Many times, we are so committed to our old cultures that any attempt to assimilate is seen as a betrayal. It is possible to find churches in new places who practice the culture of their mother countries including using their languages and choice of songs. Cross-cultural marriages end up having different worldviews and opinions stemming from the individual cultures. When Ruth followed Naomi, she identified with the people of Bethlehem and was ready to follow the other women even to the fields to pick wheat. She didn’t say, “That’s not done in Moab.”

Diligent: Ruth demonstrated diligence in her decision to follow Naomi and also in the way she lived when she arrived in Bethlehem. She wasn’t a passive agent in how her story was transformed. Consistently,  she listened to Naomi and this efforts led to the accomplishments of a greater feat; marriage to Boaz. She was not worried about being treated as a foreigner on the farms. She was attentive, persistent and determined to make the best for herself and Naomi. She was not lazy but hardworking. Even the overseer on Boaz’s field saw her Zeal and mentioned to Boaz that “She came into the field and has remained here from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter.”‭‭ (Ruth‬ ‭2:7‬). All day, Ruth was looking for food for her and Naomi. Proverbs‬ ‭10:4‬ states that “Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Ruth’s hard work led to her change in status and position.

Following instructions: One of the most difficult things for many young people is to follow instructions to the latter. The desire to have it our own way alway leads to alternative ways rather than the laid down procedures. Ruth wasn’t just faithful to Naomi, she was ready to follow Naomi’s instructions. When Naomi told her that It will be good for Ruth to go with the women who work for Boaz, because in someone else’s field Ruth might be harmed (‭‭Ruth‬ ‭2:22‬), Ruth listened and stayed close to the women of Boaz to glean until the barley and wheat harvests were finished (Ruth‬ ‭2:23‬). Similarly, when Naomi proposed that Ruth go and sleep under the feet of Boaz in the field at night in an attempt to find a home for Ruth, she obeyed and followed Naomi’s instructions to the latter. Ultimately, her obedience led to her finding a husband and a home. Certainly, Naomi’s approach to finding a home for Ruth might sound unconventional in the 21st century but the key lesson is Ruth’s cooperation and obedience to Naomi. ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭admonishes this, “Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.”

Ruth’s story reminds us that life does not end when we lose what we have. Instead of accepting her fate and staying in Moab, Ruth rather accepted Naomi’s faith and relocated to Bethlehem. From a poor widow from Moab, Ruth’s story changed. She became the mother of Obed. Obed became the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of David (Ruth 4:22). In Matthew’s account of the genealogy of Jesus, he wrote,
“Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse” (Matthew‬ ‭1:5‬).
Ruth and Rahab were not lost to history. They became part of history.

The Proverbs 31 woman: The home maker

I have heard of women who are of the view that the Proverbs 31 woman is an imagination of the author and never existed and can never exist. Such claims are based on the fact that this Proverbs 31 woman seems to have everything under control, extremely multifaceted, very busy at work, at home and seems to be a community champion in whatever she does. The argument further claims that this Proverbs 31 woman is just too busy to even have a life of her own. Some people also believe that since the Proverbs 31 woman was literally doing everything, it is possible that she was married to a lazy man who does nothing but sit at the city gates to receive compliments. The truth is, I have personally witnessed women who have transformed their families, homes, societies, workplaces/businesses, and still have enough quality time with their families. Such women are married to virtuous men who have also transformed their families, homes, societies, workplaces/businesses and still spend quality time with their families. The average 21 century woman does everyday multitasking. She takes care of the home (husband and kids if she has), works full or part-time (or is a stay-home mother who busies herself each day to make her home clean and comfy), engaged in church or other community organisations, and does other things to keep her home running. 

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (Proverbs 31:21)

The desire of most women is to ensure that their homes are homely for their families, friends and anyone who pays them a visit. She provides weather appropriate clothing for her children. For example, “when it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet (Proverbs 31:21). Her home making skills extend to even the poor and needy: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20). Her interior decor is on point: “She makes coverings for her bed” (Proverbs 31: 22a). The 21st century woman does not necessarily create the bedding or other interior decor. She gets them from the shop and decorates her house well. The Proverbs 31 woman has a sense of good fashion: “she is clothed in fine linen and purple” (Proverbs 31:22b). She doesn’t wear shabby clothes and her focus is to be modest. She knows how to blend colors and she is not excessive. In fact, this woman is inwardly “clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31:25). 

Other than making her home, we also considered the industrious nature of this woman: “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes” (Proverbs 31:24). Definitely any man married to a virtuous woman receives compliments from others: “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land” (Proverbs 31:23). The Proverbs 31 woman “speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). She is so diligent in making her home: “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27). She doesn’t spend time in worthless lifestyles. She doesn’t leave her home unattended to and engage in baseless gossip. Her home is her priority. Her husband and children boast about her commitment to them. She is intentional about her home ministry and doesn’t consider her managing of her home as a horrible chore. She is selfless and yet makes time to take care of herself.

We can learn these home making lessons from the Proverbs 31 woman: Be realistic: Don’t try to turn your home into a Palace lifestyle when your financial conditions do not allow. Make your own decorations. Go to the shops and get Do-it-yourself (DIY) things and give your home a beautiful look based on your budget.  Be intentional: Get your home weather appropriate clothing. Your children should not be too cold and neither should they be too hot. Be romantic: Don’t turn your bedroom into a clothing store! Make your bed everyday.  Put some extra effort to make your bedroom extra comfy and extra ready… you know what I mean! Be lovable: Make it a point to make yourself lovable to your husband and children. Let them delight in coming back home. Speak with wisdom, love, affection. Don’t be a nagging woman! Be beautiful: Looking beautiful for your husband should be your everyday desire. Get some affordable clothes and dress well. Don’t leave your hair looking messed up, your dresses ripped and looking worn out.  Be busy: Don’t sleep all day! Be active and busy with your life. Even if you are a stay-home mother,  be active in doing what makes your home better. Go for a walk, get a treadmill, walk your dog, go for a run. Don’t just waste your body with excess fat. A healthy lifestyle is your living sacrifice. I recommend my book on A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE.  Be ready to carry yourself up: Life is not a bed of roses. If things don’t work the way it is expected,  don’t spend weeks, months,  years and decades mourning. Clothed yourself with strength and dignity so you can laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31:25)

The Proverbs 31 woman: The industrious wife

The number of women in business and industry has shot up in recent years. Many women are actively in fields that were previously considered male-dominated fields. Thus in most parts of the world, there is a higher tendency for women to excel in their careers. Unfortunately, there are still laws and traditions that prohibit women in certain places from advancing in life. Even as we pray that nations and societies will open up to accept women in certain positions, we should also encourage women to be prepared, equipped and made ready to lay hold of opportunities. The Bible presents diverse women who rose up to be important members of their societies. Whereas societies prevented women from voting for a long time, in the Bible, we find women who were judges, influential Queens, rich business owners, religious leaders among many others. Christianity doesn’t oppress women. We see women as instrumental partners of God’s agenda. The Proverbs 31 woman shows a woman of substance, grace and value.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. (Proverbs 31:13)

Other than being a wife of noble character, the Proverbs 31 woman has other amazing qualities. In this post, we shall consider her hardworking and entrepreneurial skills. First, she is crafty with creating clothing for her home and business. Proverbs 31:13 states that “she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.” This all-in-one woman also shops for the best food supplies. Proverbs 31:13 says, “she is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” Not just that, this woman does not allow her work to interfere with her home duties. Therefore, “she gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants” (Proverbs 31:15). As if these are not enough, “she considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard” (Proverbs 31:16). This woman does not leave all her other tasks, but “she sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks” (Proverbs 31:17). The different businesses she manages are not left unattended because this woman “sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night” (Proverbs 31:18). Thus at work and at home, she has a balance, none is left unattended. As if these skills are not enough, this woman is also skilled in home crafts and is diligent in homemaking. Proverbs 31:19 says that, “in her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.”

This woman is really hard working both in her home and at her businesses. Her line of trade might not be relevant to us but her desire for entrepreneurship is worth emulating. She is multifaceted and is not limited to just one thing. She understands the principle of investing in different ventures. In the 21st century, she could have been a career woman working in the industry, managing a side business and actively taking care of her home. She does not focus on one and neglect the other. The reason this woman is so organized and productive is the fact that she plans her day. She wakes up early in the morning and begins her day on an active mode. She understands the dynamics of work and family. She doesn’t sleep all day and wakes up to just watch TV. Even though she has a husband who would be as industrious and supportive as she is, this woman understands that she has to be engaged in profitable ventures. 

Whether working in an office, managing her own business, managing her home, or being a stay-home mother, the Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t slack in her responsibilities. She ensures that her home experiences her presence as much as she is dedicated to her work. Can the 21st Century career woman make time for her home and family considering the demands of work? The answer is YES! It is possible. If you want to keep your home and work life balanced, you need to make sacrifices such as avoiding overtime shifts, being intentional about spending time with your family and avoiding unnecessary time wasters. 

Kingdom financial principles: Diligence

The Bible makes several references to pastoral lives and even God is referred to as a Shepherd. Shepherds are not self-centered but they care about the flocks that are in their care. If a flock accidentally leaves the fold, a shepherd goes all out to rescue it. Jesus calls Himself the good Shepherd (John 10:11). Shepherds are expected to be diligent to know the condition of their flocks and give them careful attention. This principle of diligence is important in managing wealth. Without due diligence, wealth gained can be lost in a day. Let’s consider some things we can do as stewards of God’s resources and wealth. 

Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, And look well to thy herds. (Proverbs 27:23 KJV)

Preserve: When a shepherd is in charge of a flock, he does everything to make sure that the sheep is safe. In the same way, we should consider ways in which we can take care of the wealth entrusted into our hands. If the financial market is not good for the nature of business we run, we should consider reinventing new things to keep our brand. We should not wait until our businesses are massively affected before we take steps. Preservation ensures sustenance. 

Restore: Shepherds restore wandering sheep back to the flock. Whenever we have to use our business capitals to invest in other ventures because of a market crisis, we should do well to restore. We should not consume all our profits but reinvest or save for the future. Restoration brings more dividends. 

Expand: Shepherds do not only keep the sheep for their meat. The sheep is sheared for wool, the sheep can be sold for money, the shepherd can also decide to sell the meat. That is business expansion. In whatever we do, let’s look for new avenues to expand into. Expansion brings increase. 

In all things,  we should consider ourselves as stewards of every wealth or resource we possess. With that mindset, we should strive towards making good choices that will give glory to God. Finally, God does not wish for us to live in need, therefore, let us apply diligence to all our wealth and resources. 

Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations. When the hay is removed and new growth appears and the grass from the hills is gathered in, the lambs will provide you with clothing, and the goats with the price of a field. You will have plenty of goats’ milk to feed your family and to nourish your female servants.(Proverbs 27:23‭-‬27)