Tamar: The beautiful sister of Absalom son of David

The household of king David had different women and this resulted in the birth of different children. As the children of the king, they had preferential treatment and were more respected than their contemporaneous. They would have obviously enjoyed the glamor and the attention. However, the children of David were not without errors. Their stories among many “parenting gone wrong” stories in the Bible presents a caution to parents to be more effective and down to earth. David’s firstborn was Amnon whose mother was Ahinoam of Jezreel (2 Samuel 3:2b). David’s wife Maakah also gave birth to Absalom and his sister Tamar. Therefore, Amnon and Tamar are related. We could certainly say that they are siblings. Therefore no matter how attractive Tamar was, she remained Amnon’s sister.

In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. (2 Samuel 13:1)

David’s household had recovered from the sin with Bethsheba that led to God’s vengeance on the baby born out of adultery. The family had moved on but the curse of David’s sin still loomed on his family: “Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own” (2 Samuel 12:10). 2 Samuel 13:1 states that “in the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.” The first red flag mentioned in this verse was that Amnon, son of David, fell in love with Tamar, daughter of David. What exactly made Amnon, David’s firstborn to fall in love with his blood sister? If Amnon had taken his Torah lessons seriously, he should have known that it was highly impossible to be married to his sister. Leviticus 18:11 states that “Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister.” The Law forbade such incestuous relationships and no matter how beautiful Tamar was, she would have been good enough for another man other than her brother. 

The desire of Amnon was definitely an obsession which had no good goal. Tamar was indeed beautiful, so was her brother Absalom. In fact 2 Samuel 14:25-26 describes Absalom this way: “In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him. Whenever he cut the hair of his head—he used to cut his hair once a year because it became too heavy for him—he would weigh it, and its weight was two hundred shekels by the royal standard.” If beauty and handsome were personified, definitely Maakah’s children born to king David would have been called Beauty and Handsome. But, no matter how stunning and attractive Tamar was, she was a no goal zone for her brother Amnon. Therefore any feeling of love or infatuation was unnecessary. Amnon could only express sisterly love (philio) towards Tamar and nothing else.

Amnon’s obsession with Tamar caused him to make himself ill (2 Samuel 13:2). Tamar was a virgin and there was nothing Amnon could do to have her. Tamar would have been living her life without the slightest idea that her own brother was getting himself sick with obsession for her. Amnon obsession was a reckless one and it was leading to no good. Tamar was no ordinary lady he could easily convince, she was the daughter of the king and his own sister. Amnon’s erotic desires towards Tamar kept dragging him towards evil. James 1:15 states that “after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” Amnon was threading on a path that was leading to no good. He was on a similar path as his father David when he saw Bethsheba taking her bath.

If we are not careful to control our desires, our own desires will conceive and give birth to sin. Then, the sin will continue the cycle until it is fully grown and gives birth to death. The wages of sin is death. Be on your guard. Not every beauty should be desired!

Bethsheba and the king who remained at home instead of going out to war

Today’s post will begin a series of discussions on Bethsheba, a woman whose story cannot be hidden. Bethsheba lived in Jerusalem with her husband Uriah. The husband served as a soldier in king David’s army. So as at the time the Bible introduces Bethsheba, Uriah was fighting for the nation of Israel. We are not told how long Bethsheba and Uriah were married. Bethsheba and Uriah might have lived a simple life in their home. The person who caused the big changes in this story was David, king of Israel. Bethsheba was the only wife of Uriah. David on the other hand had a number of wives and concubines. As the king, he was entitled to marry as many women as he could as long as those women are not married to other men. On the geographical front, the topology of the buildings during those times were such that the king lived in a massive palace and the people lived in smaller houses. Thus, the king can see the other houses and sometimes inside the houses when he stands on his roof. You remember when the Abimelek, king of Gerar saw Isaac romancing Rebekah through his window? 

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful (2 Samuel 11:2)

When the story of Bethsheba begins in 2 Samuel, we are immediately introduced to the fact that David was supposed to be on the battlefield but he delegated Joab and he stayed back home: “In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem” (2 Samuel 11:1). David did not just stay home, he went on his roof to look at his beautiful city and saw what he wouldn’t have seen if he was on the battlefield: “One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful” (2 Samuel 11:2). One beautiful woman bathing was probably no big deal because David had access to many beautiful women and if what his eyes saw tempted him, he could have easily satisfied his cravings without even contacting this particular woman. 

David was not satisfied with just seeing, he went the extra mile to know the identity of this woman. The very determined David,  sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite” (2 Samuel 11:3). This description of the woman was enough information to alert the king with a burning desire that this woman is taken by another and as such, not a perfect match for the king. David wanted just more than he saw. He burnt with desires and emotions and the king who could slay giants was slayed by the beauty of this woman. The wife of Uriah did not even know that she had caused a king to be restless. David was idling at home. He stayed back instead of going to war. In his idling state, the devil found him a job. The job was the strange urge to have what does not belong to him. On the other hand, the woman David craved for, was the wife of a man who had sacrificed his life to fight for David. Uriah left his beautiful wife to go and fight but here is the king who cannot concentrate because he saw the nakedness of the wife of his loyal servant. What an irony of life.

Bethsheba at this time had no idea that her general body routine of bathing had caused the king to desire her. We might be quick to ask where Bethsheba was standing to bathe. I lived in a rural community and I know for a fact that if your neighbours are rich and have built mansions and you cannot afford to build a good bathroom, then you would likely be visible to those on the higher floors when you enter your “open-top” bathroom. Bethsheba had finished bathing and gone to her house but David is still struggling from the sight he saw. 

In Psalm 1: 1, David wrote that, “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.” He had first hand experience of the progress of sin. In the Bethsheba experience, David moved from his bedroom to the roof, he walked about the roof and he saw the woman who was bathing. David did not just see but stopped to even make enquiries about this woman. We will continue on the next post to see what other steps David made. 

Naomi: Putting the needs of others first

Navigating life without a helper is very challenging. No matter how rich or poor one is, a helping hand is always needful. We all need someone we can lean on. We have to understand that the blessings of God to humanity, does not fall from the skies (at least the Israelites had manna fall from heaven). For God to bless you, He always relies on human vessels. It doesn’t matter whether the person believes in God or not. When God speaks, even Satan respects His voice. As we continue navigating scripture through the life of Naomi, we are reminded that affliction will not rise up a second time. If we constantly experience pain and sorrow over and over, go back to God and ask Him to restore you. It is not normal. Naomi and her daughters-in-law lost their loved ones, Naomi returned to Bethlehem with Ruth and they started life all over. 

One day Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for. (Ruth 3:1)

Naomi lived in a masculine society and two widows staying alone in one house was not safe enough. Ruth found something to do to bring food home. But, Naomi knew that she needed to help Ruth to settle down. Ruth was the perfect helper to Naomi but out of love, Naomi was willing to let Ruth go to where she can become better. Naomi’s focus was not on how she would survive after Ruth finds a better home, she cared for the future of Ruth. The two women had been providing comfort and care for one another but Naomi knew that Ruth had a bigger need. So, “one day Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for.” (Ruth 3:1).

Ruth was already living with Naomi so one might say that ‘Ruth already had a home’. However, Naomi was interested in a marital home for Ruth. She wanted Ruth to get a husband and be catered for by her husband. Naomi placed the needs of Ruth above her own personal needs and initiated a conversation that ultimately led to finding a new home for Ruth. Naomi designed the masterplan to get the attention of the proposed husband (Ruth 3:1-4). Naomi knew that a home for Ruth should come from Elimelek’s family. Naomi was aware of the traditions of the land. She knew that it would be better for Ruth to be married back into the family than to look elsewhere. 

Operation “A home for Ruth” was launched by the intelligence of Naomi. In a few days time, the operation had gained momentum and two important men met at the town gate with witnesses from the town to have a life changing transaction (Ruth 4:1-4). Naomi did not allow Ruth to settle for less. She had a bigger plan for Ruth. Remember, Ruth left everything behind in Moab and followed Naomi to Bethlehem. Ruth knew that, it was possible not to see her mother and father again. Therefore Naomi’s quest to find Ruth a better home was appropriate. 

Putting others’ needs before yours can be quite uncomfortable for many people. For most of us, our desire is for “ME, MYSELF and I” to thrive and succeed. When we look at ourselves alone, we tend to ignore those around us. I am in no way admonishing that you don’t take care of your needs. The argument is, we need to go beyond our needs and look at what we can do to make life better for others. People have different types of needs. For others, their needs are material things like food, clothes, shelter. Some people have spiritual needs and others have emotional needs. Whatever you can provide to help others, do it willingly. Show concern, provide material needs if you can, pray for people (very important), comfort those who mourn, lift those who are down and be a shoulder to lean on. 

Whatever we do in good faith for others, is recognized in heaven as a memorial for us. 

Jesus admonished us with the parable in Matthew 25: 34-30:
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’  “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’  “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” 

In Luke 6:38, Jesus mentions one reward of giving:
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

New Season: His plans and your plans

Whenever we begin a new month, I am quick to check my new year resolutions to know where I am currently at in fulfilling my plans for the year. I believe many people are in similar situations. For me, it helps to track progress and growth. Wherever I fall short, in achieving a desired goal,  I go back to the drawing board to consider what can be done. While we aim to ensure that we accomplish our new year’s resolutions, we should not lose sight of the fact that we need God’s grace and favour to be able to fulfill these plans. If my resolution was to stay healthy, being alive is important for me to stay healthy. While we can control our food intake and fitness needs for a healthier lifestyle, we cannot determine whether we will have a baby, have a new job, meet our life partner etc. The fulfillment of these plans are not determined by our efforts alone. Do you still have unaccomplished plans? Have you tried your best to have these plans come through? Have you poured your heart to God about it? Can you see a tiny finger of breakthrough?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

We have our plans and God has plans for us. Sometimes it feels like taking a slow train to your most urgent destination. The year runs too fast and we tend to feel anxious about the plans that are unfulfilled. I can remember the number of times that I woke up expecting to see a fulfillment but had to retire to bed in the evening with “no show.” Maybe you have been through a similar situation and you are currently at the verge of giving up. It is a new season, and giving up is not an option.  Remember, God’s words in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Continue to work on that plan, stay focused, reach out to people who have been in similar situations for help. Don’t lose faith and don’t stop praying. 

The road might look barren but we serve a God who turns barren lands to fruitful havens. It is also important to consider the motives behind the things we desire for. Are they to gratify ourselves alone? How will these plans affect our world positively? Have we considered how God will be honoured in these plans? Today, let’s consider our plans in the light of God’s plans. Remember that His grace is sufficient to accomplish our deepest desires. Pray with me:

Dear God, I thank You for the many blessings You have given me. I present before you these plans (name your requests). I put my trust in You for the fulfillment of these plans. I have seen and heard how others encountered difficult seasons and You turned things around for them. Help me to fully trust in You for completion. Take away my fears and anxiety and help me to depend on You. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

God has a plan for you!

The Fatherhood of God: He is the potter

Have you been to a pottery before? A few years ago, as part of the “hen do” for our Pastor’s daughter, we went to the pottery shop to make some designs. As we entered the shop, we saw the spinning wheel and that reminded me of Jeremiah 18:1-6: “This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.”
Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. (Isaiah 64:8)

The potter and the clay do not argue on the shape of the clay or how the clay should finally look like. The clay is formed into a masterpiece and it comes out reflecting the workmanship of the potter. In Isaiah 64:8, we are told that the Lord is our Father, He is the the potter and we are the clay in His hands. But, are we really a willing clay? Or we are the clay that jumps up to show the potter how we should be molded? God is our Father and He desires to turn us into amazing masterpieces (poiema). As Paul stated in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The Father desires to show us forth to the world as a masterpiece of His creation. We are His poiema, His Masterpiece and the very the best of His works!

When we understand that our Father’s desire is to turn us into amazing masterpieces, our respond should be:
If You can use anything Lord You can use me
If You can use anything Lord You can use me
Take my hands, Lord and my feet
Touch my heart, Lord and speak through me
If You can use anything Lord You can use me

If You can use anything Lord You can use me
If You can use anything Lord You can use me
Take my hands, Lord and my feet
Touch my heart, Lord and speak through me
If You can use anything Lord You can use me
(Ron Kenoly, Use me Lord- 2010 Integrity Music)