David’s concubines

Is there anything you could have avoided but allowed it to happen and later became a snare to you? How did you feel when the consequences of your actions led to further problems for you and the people around you? If you were given a second chance at life, what would you do differently to avert such an incident from happening? Most of us build our lives on try and error patterns. We make countless mistakes until we get it right. Some people are able to bounce back from where they fall. Unfortunately many are unable to get it right and remain at the rock bottom all their lives. One such person whose decisions led to a cycle of misfortunes was king David. His one night with Uriah’s wife and subsequent murder caused him a cycle of painful experiences. This was the verdict David received for sleeping with someone’s wife and then killing the husband:
“Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own. This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’ ” (2 Samuel 12:10‭-‬12).

As a result of this verdict, David’s own son (Amnon) raped David’s own daughter (Tamar). David’s own son (Absalom, brother of Tamar) killed David’s firstborn (Amnon). When we thought there was calmness, another volcano was dropped: Absalom rebelled against his own father and David, his household, his army and his supporters and counselors fled from home (read 2 Samuel 15). The same Absalom who was forgiven for murder, conspired with some of David’s own people against his own father. David’s best counselor, Ahithophel was among the conspirators. David prayed, “Lord, turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness.” (2 Samuel 15:31b). As a matter of urgency, David, the giant slayer, fled with his entire household following him; but he left ten concubines to take care of the palace (2 Samuel 15:16). These ten concubines were left behind when all those that matter to David were taken away. These concubines spent their lives meeting the sexual and emotional needs of David. However, when trouble came to the house of David, they were left behind to take care of a troubled palace. Their place was with the troublemaker Absalom. They might have been afraid for their lives. What would their fate be? 

So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he slept with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. (2 Samuel 16:22)

When Absalom asked Ahithophel what he should do, the very wise Ahithophel gave him wild advice. Ahithophel was no ordinary person. In those days the advice Ahithophel gave was like that of one who inquires of God. That was how both David and Absalom regarded all of Ahithophel’s advice (2 Samuel 16:23). No wonder David prayed that God would turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness. This was the advice of Ahithophel: “Sleep with your father’s concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself obnoxious to your father, and the hands of everyone with you will be more resolute.” (2 Samuel 16:21). Reading this verse 1000s of years later, I still wonder why Absalom did not think this advice was foolish. But Ahithophel knew how to kill David’s authority in the eyes of the people. So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he slept with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel (2 Samuel 16:22). Imagine! David even had the sanity to take Bethsheba to the room. Absalom slept with ten women on a rooftop in broad daylight. This is not a movie! It really happened. 

Did Absalom have any reverence for these women? Why did he chose to disregard the ten women’s lives but killed Amnon for raping his one sister? Imagine the shame and the stigma. The Law of Moses made it explicit that sons should not disrespect their father’s bed (Leviticus 18:8). Jacob’s son, Rueben committed a similar crime with his father’s concubine, Bilhah and Jacob cursed the entire generation of the Reubenites. When peace was restored and David finally returned to his palace Jerusalem, he took the ten concubines he had left to take care of the palace and put them in a house under guard. He provided for them but had no sexual relations with them. They were kept in confinement till the day of their death, living as widows (2 Samuel 20:3). Absalom made these ten concubines desolate for the rest of their lives just as Amnon made Tamar desolate. Absalom did not win the war against his father. He was killed and all who supported him perished with him. However, the ten concubines lived as mere shadows of themselves. They were put in a house under a guard. Their freedom was taken, their lives were halted and for the rest of their days, they lived as widows. All these pain inflicted by the men who were supposed to protect these vulnerable women.

No woman deserves to be treated as just a sex object. Men have the moral and God-given responsibility to provide a safe environment for the women in their lives. If you know a woman who is being abused sexually, contact the right authorities to help her. If we keep quiet, the abusers’ next target might be someone close to you. Women are created by God for exploits. Be intentional about helping your wife, sister, friend, neighbour etc. When women are highly equipped, the world becomes a better place.

Bethsheba: Dealing with loss

Not many people can stand a cycle of misfortunes and still keep a calm face. Whenever we go through hard times, it affects our entire lives. Even though we might put out a good demeanor, it doesn’t change the effects of the pain. From personal experiences, I believe only God can take away pain and restore joy. The kind of joy and contentment believers feel in unpleasant times come from the joy of the Lord. The people in our lives are also instruments God uses to put smiles on our faces when we experience difficulties. If you know someone dealing with pain, loss, illnesses etc., be an instrument of joy. Instead of focusing on the person’s pain, be a light that radiates joy, calmness, peace,  comfort and compassion. Bethsheba had experienced uncommon times. She had no plan to seduce the king of Israel with her bath but her body purification led her to the bosom of the king. One thing led to the other and she became a widow and suddenly the wife of the king. Before long, she gave birth and the child died. It wasn’t a natural death. God foretold king David about it. 

Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him (2 Samuel 12:24)

When you look at the Bethsheba story, it seems like a cycle of painful experiences. She lost, gained and lost again. How would she handle this pain? The main reason the king married her was because of the pregnancy. The child from that pregnancy died and Bethsheba was left with nothing to hold onto. One thing we need to understand is that, when king David was rebuked for his actions, he accepted his errors and pleaded for mercy. Psalms 51 is the heartfelt prayer David prayed to God.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” (Psalms 51:1‭-‬2)
So as at the time Bethsheba’s child died, God had already forgiven the wickedness but the child was already foretold to die. How did David help Bethsheba deal with loss? According to 2 Samuel 12:24, “David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him.”

The healing of Bethsheba was a process. First, David comforted her. To comfort her, David might have had to show her that he cares and understands the pain she was going through. David didn’t comfort her alone, he went to her. Bethsheba and David spent quality time together. They had koinonia (fellowship). David made love to Bethsheba. Obviously, the buildup to this love making began with an expression of comfort, closer interactions and the possibility of feeling and understanding each other’s emotional needs. If Bethsheba had her reservation about David, these intimate moments with David would have helped allay all her fears. The progress of Bethsheba’s healing from emotional pain shows that we need to make time for people who are dealing with loss. Your one time care might not be enough to heal the pain. If you cannot be there in person, pray with them, send them messages and use every opportunity to put smiles on their faces. 

The result of David’s consolation and intimacy with Bethsheba was another child. Bethsheba gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. When legitimate love was demonstrated, the Lord also loved the child that was born. 2 Samuel 12:25 states that “and because the Lord loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah” (loved by the Lord). Bethsheba didn’t deal with her pain alone, God restored her. David became an instrument of comfort and compassion. The same David who messed up her marriage with Uriah and showed lack of compassion for the soul of Uriah, understood the need to comfort, care, love and hold on to Bethsheba at her time of loss.

When people go through grief and loss, the best we can do to restore them is to show compassion. Remember, we approach pain differently so if you see them grieving more than necessary, don’t be quick to condemn them as faithless. Be intentional to support them back on their feet. If you are not sure of what to do, pray with them and for them. Prayer holds the key to many situations. 

Bethsheba: God hates sin!

No matter how we garnish sin and give it a new name and new identity, it doesn’t change the state from sin to good. Sin is sin no matter how big or small. God hates sin no matter the magnitude of the sin. The ultimate goal of God sending His only begotten Son was to redeem mankind from the bondage of sin (John 3:16). Our relationship with God is affected by sin and the only way to be restored to Him is to be purged from sin. It cost God His only Son to pay the price for sin. If it is easy to do, it doesn’t mean the price to pay is easy. Be intentional and avoid sinful acts as much as possible. Our study of Bethsheba has revealed how a single act of walking on the roof led king David in a roller-coaster of sins. He saw Bethsheba, asked about her, requested for her, slept with her, got her pregnant, wanted to put the blame on her husband, killed her husband and ultimately married Bethsheba. 

Reading this from the viewpoint of a human being, the whole drama is naught. How can someone be this heartless to destroy another like that. If you felt this way, imagine God! All this while, Bethsheba was the one who had to endure the pain of cheating on her husband, the pain of losing her husband and becoming a widow. Her widowhood didn’t last for long because she moved to the palace as the wife of David. Though David might have felt a sigh of relief after all this, God wasn’t pleased at all. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) and David and Bethsheba’s secret sin would have to be paid for publicly. God sent prophet Nathan to rebuke David. The prophet gave a story of a poor man and a rich man and how the rich man left all he had to kill the only ewe of the poor man. David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.” (2 Samuel 12:5‭-‬6). David did not know that he was the culprit in this story. He was ready to kill the rich man for his greed.

But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” (2 Samuel 12:14)

When Nathan explained to David that the story refers to him, David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” (2 Samuel 12:13‭-‬14). The Lord hated the sin of David and Bethsheba such that the innocent child wasn’t going to live. After all the drama, David and Bethsheba would not enjoy the fruit of their sinful act. When Bethsheba delivered, the child was struck with an illness. David prayed, fasted, pleaded with God, laid on the floor and did everything possible but God was not pleased. Ultimately, the child died. Bethsheba had to deal again with another loss, this time the loss of a child. She lost Uriah and now she had lost the child she had with David. As difficult as her grief might be, God hates sin and that child was the representation of the sinful action that led to the death of Uriah. 

This story teaches us that God is just and He “will repay each person according to what they have done” (Romans 2:6). The story also teaches that God sees the secrets of each person. Nothing is hidden from Him. David and Bethsheba sinned in secret but God rebuked them openly. The verdict was brutal:  “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’ ” (2 Samuel 12:11‭-‬12).

God created sexual intimacy but whenever it is done outside marriage, the beautiful act is called sin. Revelation 21:8 designates the final destination of sinners including the sexually immoral; “they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” 

It is better we tame our emotions than allow our emotions to tame us. If it cannot be done with the knowledge of people, think twice before you do. Our feelings are not an excuse to sin. Control that feeling before it controls you. No sane person walks into fire because they feel cold. Similarly, we shouldn’t walk into sin because we feel like it. God hates sin!

Bethsheba: Widow of Uriah and wife of David

Whenever people use their position of influence to get things done their way even if it hurts others, we equate such people as evil, wicked and lacking empathy. If the only way to achieve your self interests is to hurt and step on the weak and the vulnerable, then you have no compassion. There are many people who rise to the top or achieve their goal on the backs of the weak and vulnerable. Such people go the extra mile to get what they want no matter the consequences on the people around them. David, Uriah and Bethsheba’s story in the Bible depicts such wickedness. Uriah left his wife home to fight for the nation and the king who was expected to lead the army to war idled at home and impregnated the wife of the committed soldier. When the king’s attempt to cover his sin failed, he devised a plan which led to the death of Uriah. Uriah’s death left his wife in a vulnerable state. Meanwhile, the king had another plan. 

After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord. (2 Samuel 11:27)

Bethsheba’s life changed suddenly because she took a bath at the time the king was taking a walk on his roof. An activity of general body hygiene led to a series of other events that ultimately led her to lose her husband and marriage. We can’t blame Bethsheba since she was the vulnerable person in this incident. Uriah’s death was reported to Bethsheba when she heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband (2 Samuel 11:26). Right after the mourning was over, David sent and fetched her to his house, and she became his wife, and bore him a son. However, David’s actions displeased the Lord (Samuel 11:27). David’s insatiable desire did not just lead to adultery, he progressed to murder. If you think David was too sudden to marry Bethsheba, remember Abigail and how he quickly married her right after the death of Nabal.

Just like Abigail, Bethsheba couldn’t have resisted the offer to marry the king. First, she was in a vulnerable position and if her one-night stand with the king was exposed, she would face the consequences of it. Second, being a woman without a husband and living alone could attract men of all sorts. She was not safe even while her husband was alive but away fighting for the nation. Thirdly, she was already pregnant for David and instead of living the life of a concubine, she couldn’t resist the offer to live the life of the king’s wife. Was Bethsheba aware that David had her husband killed? We don’t know that but what we know is that the widow of Uriah became the wife of the king right after her mourning period. Bethsheba might have had to keep a straight face among the other wives of David. She was the newbie who seemed to have the attention of the king. She lost Uriah but became the king’s favourite wife. The story is far from over. If you are reading this post and are unhappy with David’s actions, imagine the Lord. 

Bethsheba’s story is relevant in the 21st century. On a daily basis, we still hear similar stories of how the weak and vulnerable people are coerced to do things that satisfy the whims and caprices of the mighty and powerful. There are many people who have suffered the fate of Uriah. They went out to do a good cause but they were used as stepping stones to achieve the desires of their masters. In some cases, women do not even have the right to choose their own spouses. Others are married off to pay family debt. David’s marriage to Bethsheba was out of inconvenience. He did that to cover his vile actions. 

Finally, if you are a person of authority, do not take the weak, the poor and vulnerable people for granted. The God of the rich and famous people, is the same God of the poor and vulnerable. He will surely avenge every evil.