Bilhah: Rueben’s mistake that cost him his blessing

Sometimes I wonder why the biblical authors wrote down the details of certain events and ignored others. The more I think about it, the more I come to the conclusion that, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law” (Deuteronomy 29:29). Through inspiration, the authors even documented the mistakes of the people whose stories were connected to write God’s  bigger story. In essence, God does not pick just the righteous people but He is interested in building a relationship with even the downtrodden and those who have been declared “bad”. If God could make a great patriarch out of a deceiver and a thief (Jacob), could connect a harlot to the family line of Jesus (Rahab), could take a murderer and a stammerer and make him a saviour of a nation (Moses), could make doubtful person an apostle and evangelist (Thomas), among others, surely He can make something out of me. The women in the Bible series reveal to us the women whose lives contributed to the scriptures. These women were not the best in their days. They had their strengths and weaknesses, yet, God worked His story in their discombobulated stories. Today’s focus will be on a single verse in Genesis 35 that is mostly ignored but very important in the Bible. 

While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father’s concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it. (Genesis 35:22a) 

Bilhah, Rachel’s servant who bore Jacob Dan and Naphtali, had an affair with Reuben,  Jacob’s first son. Genesis 35:22a quotes that,  “While Israel was living in that region, Reuben went in and slept with his father’s concubine Bilhah, and Israel heard of it.” This verse is not continued in subsequent passages in the chapter. The Bible author just dropped the bombshell; Reuben defiled his father’s bed by sleeping with Bilhah. Jacob heard of the incident and did not say a word about it. Was Bilhah coerced, or did she willingly agree to sleep with Rueben? Such details are not given. What we know is what happened. Bilhah and Reuben’s action is a disrespect to Jacob. Aside the incestuous acts, it was a total disgrace for Bilhah to engage in sexual intimacy with Reuben while Jacob was still alive. The fact that Jacob heard it and does not immediately react to it makes the incident more difficult to process. Both Bilhah and Reuben continued to live in the same house with Jacob and the rest of the family. The huge burden of guilt hung like an Albatross around their necks. The weight of the guilt and the shame it probably brought to them had to be a lifetime mark. Bilhah and Reuben’s act had future consequences. 

Before Jacob died, he blessed all his children. For Reuben, this is what he said: “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the first sign of my strength, excelling in honor, excelling in power. Turbulent as the waters, you will no longer excel, for you went up onto your father’s bed, onto my couch and defiled it.” (Genesis 49:3‭-‬4). Literally, Jacob cursed Reuben for the action done years ago. Bilhah might have heard of the curse too. Their age-old sin was reviewed on Jacob’s deathbed. The curse was laid on Reuben and no Reubenites could ever rise to the top in the history of the Israelites. No king, judge, priest ever came from the tribe of Rueben. The family also occupied a territory beyond Jordan when they moved to the promised land (Numbers 32:1-5). Reuben’s lack of control over his emotions (turbulent as the waters), led to an act that caused his descendants to lose a prominent place in Israel’s history. The only “popular” Reubenites, Datham and Abiram were rebel leaders and they died for inciting the people to sin (Numbers 16). Bilhah and Reuben’s mistake became a generational scare and we should learn from them to avoid a singular act that can deny us of a blissful future.

Before you do anything, consider the implications it would have in the future. You owe your descendants a blessing not a curse. Be intentional about avoiding sinful acts. One day with Bilhah or Reuben can cost a lifetime of regrets, pain, worry and disappointment. Look before you leap!

Rachel and Leah: Bilhah and Zilpah joined the family drama

As a woman, I understand that we are very delicate and any home that considers the desires of the wife will thrive. In other words, when the wife is happy and satisfied, the home runs smoothly. However, as humans, we do not really need all that we want. Therefore a really happy wife means a lot of excesses that possibly the man doesn’t need will have to be accommodated. It is important for a woman to sieve her desires and cravings because not everything we wish to have are really necessary. If handling one wife comes with handling lots of excesses, imagine a polygamous home where the husband is committed to making all his wives happy and content. Rachel and Leah both had their issues and both felt the need to be satisfied accordingly. Jacob, the man at the center of all this drama had to deal with each wife and their requests. As the story of Rachel and Leah progressed,  we have seen that Rachel’s deepest longing is to have a child and Leah’s desire is to be loved by her husband. How can Jacob satisfy both? Let’s go back to the Bible and continue from there.

Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her servant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. (Genesis 30:3‭, ‬9)

Rachel was desperate to have a child and like Sarah, her grandmother-in-law, she decided to give her servant to her husband. Rachel said to Jacob, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, and she became pregnant and bore him a son. Then Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.” Because of this she named him Dan. Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. Then Rachel said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.” So she named him Naphtali.” (Genesis 30:3‭-‬8). This did not go well with Leah. “When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her servant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a son. Then Leah said, “What good fortune!” So she named him Gad. Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. Then Leah said, “How happy I am! The women will call me happy.” So she named him Asher.” (Genesis 30:9‭-‬13). Jacob looks like the victim here, he was manipulated by his own wives to take on more wives and have more children. 

The drama in the house of Jacob was now intense. Rachel’s camp had two children and Leah’s camp had six children. Jacob was the man in the middle of this “baby-making business”. How was he managing his work life, family life and emotional state? Family feud of any kind is not good and it ends up draining all parties, causing disunity and grudge. The whole drama began with deception and favouritism that escalated to something else. When the Bible warns us against lies and favouritism, it is for our own good. Besides the right relationship we have with God when we eschew evil, we also have peace and tranquility in our lives when we live right. Each person has a role in the home to ensure peace and development. Envy, favouritism, hatred and bitterness are a good recipe for a “troubled home”. Imagine the heat and the tension when each one is against the other and each one in a competition with another in the same family. The children of such discombobulated homes carry the same mindset of their parents. How can the peace of God reign in such an atmosphere? One husband, four women… Jacob must have been a very busy man.

Imperfect people need a perfect God as their Saviour and that is why we all need God because we are not perfect. I pray that any home going through difficult times encounters the presence of God. Remember, only God can satisfy our deepest longings and desires. No person can give us what will permanently make us satisfied. Instead of worrying and nagging people for what we don’t have, we should work with what we have, and ask God for His provision for what we need. May the peace of God be with us all.