Abigail: Patience is a virtue

Marriage is a full package and depending on your spouse, you might get more than you wanted or nothing close to what you really wanted. Abigail was married to probably one of the richest men in her community. Nabal had property at Carmel, and was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep (1 Samuel 25:2). I am sure Abigail did not need to worry about food and other things needed for daily living. In fact, she was able to organize a party for an army of over 600 people in just a short time without asking for help from her husband: “She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys” (1 Samuel 25:18). Even in the 21st century, it would cost a fortune to prepare this meal fit for a king. In other words, money and food wouldn’t have been a worry for Abigail. Her worry was the fact that she was a beautiful and intelligent woman who was married to a foolish and brutish man. Such an irony!

When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until daybreak. About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died. (1 Samuel 25:36‭, ‬38)

Abigail acted wisely to save herself, Nabal and the whole family from David’s attack. David confirmed that if Abigail had not intervened, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak (1 Samuel 25:34. Meanwhile, the chief culprit, Nabal, was partying. He had no clue what he had caused and how his wickedness had almost escalated to a potential death threat. The matter was settled and David and his men returned to their hideout. Abigail might have shared a sigh of relief. “When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until daybreak” (1 Samuel 25:36). Nabal’s folly had put his entire household in trouble, meanwhile he was oblivious of the impending doom and was just drinking his life away. Imagine the state David and his men would have met Nabal. He would have been so drunk without any control to mitigate the impact of his actions. Thankfully Abigail was up for the task.

Throughout the story of Abigail, she demonstrated patience towards Nabal. First, she didn’t start by nagging and accusing Nabal for refusing to assist David and his men. Abigail was patient enough to take care of the situation. When she returned to meet her very drunk husband, she was patient enough to let matters lie until he became sober. What an attitude! Most women in the position of Abigail would have started the drama right after the servants mentioned the incident. Others would have caused a scene at the sheep shearing knowing that Nabal was partying while his attitudes had almost caused an extermination. Abigail knew the nature of her husband, she patiently waited until daybreak. “Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone” (1 Samuel 25:37). In his sober state, Nabal was convicted of his action. He knew that if Abigail had not intervened, he would have been a dead man. The message Bible renders 1 Samuel 25:37-38 this way: “But in the morning, after Nabal had sobered up, she told him the whole story. Right then and there he had a heart attack and fell into a coma. About ten days later God finished him off and he died” (1 Samuel 25:36‭-‬38 MSG). When Nabal understood the full weight of his actions, his heart and body failed him. He might have been a real fool to have missed the bigger picture of his actions. 

Nabal’s folly led him to an early grave leaving behind a beautiful and intelligent widow. Abigail’s marriage with Nabal ended on a very sad note. Her own husband orchestrated his own downfall. What would become of Abigail? What if her husband had made many other enemies beside David? Abigail might have had to develop enough patience to live with Nabal. Her marriage was desirable when it came to money and provision but in attitude, Abigail had to accommodate the messes of Nabal. 

Indeed, love is patient and kind. Patience is a virtue. If we lose patience, we ultimately lose ourselves and the battle of controlling our anger. If we don’t learn to be patient, we would ultimately become a patient to our impatience and anger. Anger lies in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). The remedy for Nabal’s trouble was Abigail’s patience. 

Rachel and Leah: God joined the drama

Jacob’s decision to marry two sisters didn’t come without concerns. First, Rachel was the most loved wife and Leah wasn’t loved. Jacob repeated the mistake of his parents: favouritism. Jacob should have been more knowledgeable about the effects of favouritism and the consequences it brings. However, he was in love with Rachel but Leah was just “a mistake of a wife.” Imagine the joy in Rachel’s heart and the bitterness in Leah’s heart. It was a public display of favouritism and God was not pleased at all. If rivalry between two strange women can be sore, rivalry between two sisters who both feel cheated by their father is worse. Romans 2:11 states that, “God does not show favoritism” and James 2:9 also quotes that, “if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” Therefore, Jacob was not obeying God by favouring Rachel over Leah. Therefore God Himself joined the drama. 

When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. (Genesis 29:31)

Remember, the biggest concerns of Jacob’s family had been childbirth. Sarah and Rebekah faced the issue of childlessness for years. When God stepped into the situation,  this is what happened: “When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless” (Genesis 29:31). God opened the door of childbirth for Leah. She escaped the familiar trend of childlessness but for Rachel, she remained childless. When you are loved by man, they do their best to make you happy, but when you are loved by God, He gives you the best of the land. Rachel had Jacob but was childless, Leah had God and she had it all. In a few years, Leah’s family grew bigger and Rachel remained the same. “Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now. She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon. Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi. She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.” (Genesis 29:32‭-‬35).

Leah’s naming patterns remind me of traditional African communities where names are based on situations. Leah was obsessed with getting her husband’s attention that she missed God’s providence in her life. She kept naming her sons after her emotions. When she finally had the fourth son, Leah changed the naming pattern. She said “This time I will praise the Lord” and the child was named Judah. Indeed God deserved all her praise. While Leah escaped from the generational issue of barreness because God showed her mercy, Rachel lived in bitterness. She became envious of her sister and she kept nagging Jacob for a child. “When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” (Genesis 30:1‭-‬2). The drama in Jacob’s house was not pleasant and Jacob might have felt the heat of pain and bitterness. He had to live with it. The decision to marry two sisters and  the desire to show favouritism contributed to the heat in his home. 

If Jacob was pressed, imagine Rachel and Leah. The sisters might have been on serious loggerheads and daily, each would have tried to be the best. Rachel was loved but had no children, Leah wasn’t loved but had enough children. What is the next move of this broken family? Will God leave the drama? 
If there is any lesson to learn today, bear in mind that God does not show favoritism (Romans 2:11) and, if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers (James 2:9).

Rebekah and the stolen blessing

Rebekah and Isaac as we saw earlier, had their favourite sons. Esau was for Isaac and Jacob was for Rebekah. Now, “when Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. Now then, get your equipment—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.” (Genesis 27:1‭-‬4). Isaac’s love for Esau was so tied to wild game that before he could give his son his final blessing, Esau had to first hunt for a game and make food for his father. That doesn’t sound like unconditional love. “No meat, no blessings”, kind of love is not the one God has shown to us. And this is where it gets messier. Rebekah loved Jacob and would do anything for him. “Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back” (Genesis 27:5). “Will Rebekah pretend she didn’t hear what Isaac said?” You know the answer, right?

Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.” (Genesis 27:9‭-‬10)

What a bag of mess? The couple’s public display of favouritism was about to generate a family feud. After recalling the instruction Isaac gave to Jacob, “Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau…Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.” (Genesis 27:6‭, ‬8‭-‬10). Rebekah wanted Jacob to steal the blessing meant for Esau. Although Jacob protested against the idea because of their physical differences, Rebekah had the perfect work plan to disguise Jacob to make him look like Esau. After Rebekah cooked the food just like Isaac loved it, she went ahead to disguise Jacob to look like Esau. The plan worked and Jacob presented the food to his father. Isaac was surprised at the speed of making the food. Since Isaac was blind, he was deceived by the smell of Esau (Jacob was in Esau’s clothes) and the goatskin body of Jacob. The blessing was given to Jacob fullscore. Isaac blessed him from his heart. Afterall, He thought he was blessing Esau, his firstborn and favourite son. Jacob  through the orchestrated effort of Rebekah stole the blessing meant for Esau.

What was Rebekah’s motivation for helping her son to deceive her husband? Was it because of the prophecy given to her that the oldest will serve the youngest? Was it because of her love for Jacob? Ultimately Rebekah was totally wrong for initiating the biggest sibling rivalry. God didn’t seek for her hand to bless Jacob. Her actions had further consequences. “Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob” (Genesis 27:41). When Rebekah got to know of Esau’s plan, she hitched her plan B. She told Jacob, “Flee at once to my brother Laban in Harran. Stay with him for a while until your brother’s fury subsides. When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I’ll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?” (Genesis 27:43‭-‬45). The fact is, Rebekah never saw her loving son again. By the time Jacob returned from his long journey,  Rebekah had already died. The stolen blessing rid her of her beloved son and officially gave Jacob the tag, “the deceiver”. For most part of Jacob’s adult life, he went through a circle of deception, either from him, from the people around him or from his own children. Years later, Esau would forgive Jacob for stealing his blessing but it took them over 20 years to fix the mess caused by Rebekah. 

Rebekah was beautiful, hardworking, strong, resilient, loving but she had her own flaws that generated into a family feud. Whenever we work on ourselves, we should not only be interested in building our strengths. We should find the best ways to overcome our weaknesses. If we overlook our weaknesses, they will move from a tiny serpent to a big dragon dragging us far away from God’s perfect plan for us. Every lie told is a step away from God and a step closer to the devil. Thou shall not lie!