Not everything we want is needed. If we don’t learn to control our craving, our desire for food, social satisfaction, emotional satisfaction and attention could become the stepping stones to one’s downfall. According to Proverbs 25:28, a person without self-control is like a city whose walls are broken through. A city with broken walls is open to everything and everyone including the good, the bad and the ugly. In 2 Samuel 13, Amnon, the son of David, made a foolish decision and executed it because of lack of self-control. He deceitfully raped his own half-sister, Tamar. This foolish act was incubated by those who were hurt and escalated to a bloodshed that caused the house of David to shake.
And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. (2 Samuel 13:22)
Tamar, the lady who was raped got home, “her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.” (2 Samuel 13:20). On his part, Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. (2 Samuel 13:22). In his silence, Absalom plotted and killed Amnon at the least expected time. The following are lessons can we learn from this story:
Control Your Cravings: Amnon’s story serves as a poignant reminder that not everything we desire is a legitimate need. The unbridled craving that fueled his actions led to the reprehensible act of deceiving and raping his half-sister, Tamar. Proverbs 25:28’s imagery of a city with broken walls captures the vulnerability that accompanies uncontrolled desires. Learning to master our cravings is an essential step in safeguarding our well-being and the well-being of those around us.
Don’t Take Wrong Counsel: Amnon took wrong counsel from his adviser. 2 Samuel 13:3-5 describes Amnon’s adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” Jonadab’s advice was this, “Go to bed and pretend to be ill.” “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’ ” This wicked counsel led to Amnon’s disgraceful act of raping his sister. Upon being violated, Tamar sought solace from her brother Absalom, who, instead of seeking justice from the king or comfort for his sister, advised her to remain silent. The wrong counsel from family and friends can perpetuate cycles of pain and injustice. Wise discernment in choosing our confidants is crucial to navigating the complexities of life, ensuring that our actions are guided by principles of justice and righteousness.
Take Action Quickly: In the aftermath of Amnon’s heinous act, the narrative in 2 Samuel 13 raises questions about David’s response. Did he take swift action to address the situation? Amnon’s unchecked actions threatened to destabilize the family, highlighting the urgency for intervention. Timely and decisive action can prevent the escalation of conflicts and mitigate the potential for irreversible consequences.
Make Peace Immediately: The repercussions of Amnon’s rape of Tamar had far-reaching effects, casting a shadow over the House of David. Making peace in the face of conflict becomes imperative to prevent the festering of wounds. Immediate intervention and reconciliation efforts can help mend the broken bonds within families and communities, averting further pain and discord.
Don’t Pay Evil with Evil: As the story unfolds, Absalom’s response to Amnon’s disgraceful act is a study in silence and simmering hatred. While Absalom refrained from repaying evil with evil immediately, his silent plotting would eventually lead to tragic consequences, the death of Amnon and the eventual fleeing of Absalom. The biblical principle of not paying evil with evil (Romans 12:17) underscores the importance of seeking justice through righteous means rather than succumbing to a cycle of revenge.
The consequences of Amnon’s rape of Tamar reverberated through the House of David. Tamar, desolate and broken, lived in the house of her brother Absalom. Absalom’s silent hatred for Amnon culminated in a vengeful act, as he plotted and eventually killed his brother. The House of David, once a symbol of strength and unity, now bore the scars of one man’s lack of self-control. The tragic story of Amnon’s foolish choices serves as a cautionary narrative about the destructive potential of unchecked desires and the far-reaching consequences of such actions. In navigating the complexities of human relationships, it is imperative to exercise self-control, seek wise counsel, take swift and just action, prioritize reconciliation, and adhere to the biblical principle of not repaying evil with evil. Amnon’s story reminds us of the profound impact one person’s lack of restraint can have on the lives of many, emphasizing the need for wisdom, discernment, and a commitment to justice and righteousness.