Parenting gone wrong: Rebekah loved Jacob and Isaac loved Esau

One parenting strategy I learned quite early is to love all your children equally irrespective of their skills and attitudes. A public show of affection one child over the other is a recipe for conflict and confusion. No matter how difficult one child is in comparison to the other(s), parents should be intentional about making all the children feel loved. Imagine showing more affection for other children and less affection for some, the result is hatred and mistrust. Every child deserves to be loved and irrespective of their flaws, parents should be intentional about making them feel loved. Afterall, when the parents pass away without intentionally working to bring peace in the family, they leave behind a baggage of mess and brokenness. The children tend to continue the circle of selective love and end up hating each other for no reason. Rebekah and Isaac were culprits of “Parenting gone wrong.” They publicly showed their preference for one child over the other.

Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. (Genesis 25:28)

Esau and his brother had different personalities. When they grew up, Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents (Genesis 25:27). The two children had different preferences and this is not new. No two people including twins are ever the same. Now this is where the parents got it wrong: “Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob” (Genesis 25:28). Isaac’s love for Esau was based on his taste for wild game but Rebekah just loved Jacob. Now let’s decipher this deeper looking at the other background variables. First, Esau being the first child legally had the birthright and was the heir to Isaac. Rebekah had been told by God that the younger child would be the head over the elder. Jacob being the youngest was also the “mummy’s boy type” who was content to stay home. Could any of these variables trigger the parents’ love? Although Esau foolishly gave away his birthright for a pot of stew, Isaac still considered him as the firstborn and as such worthy of all the blessings that comes to the firstborn son. 

To add more insult to injury, Rebekah and Isaac had to deal with Esau’s choice of wife and the consequences of it. Remember,  Abraham had gone to his family to get a wife for Isaac but, “when Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah” (Genesis 26:34‭-‬35). Esau definitely did not follow the family tradition of choosing a wife and his actions brought grief to his parents. Ultimately, Rebekah had more issues with Esau and considering all the background information, Rebekah was ready to make sure that Esau wouldn’t enjoy the blessings of the firstborn. Does it really matter to show unconditional love to your children irrespective of their flaws? The truth is it really matters. Just as God so loved us with all our flaws and weaknesses, as parents, we need to be intentional about demonstrating love to our children. Esau might have had enough reasons to be the hated one, but he deserved love and affection from his mother. Isaac might love wild game but Jacob needed all the love of his father.

The consequences of these preferences set the stage for a big drama in the future that led the twins to be on loggerheads. Rebekah might have genuinely expressed her feelings based on both interests and prophesy, but the path she took with Isaac (to love one child over the other) is wrong. What if Isaac receives a fake wild game from Jacob who pretends to be Esau? What if Esau decides to stay in the tent and to marry a woman who will please the parents, will Rebekah’s decision to love him less change?
Before you begin a permanent feud among your children through public display of love for one and hatred for another, read the consequences of the actions of Rebekah and Isaac in Genesis 27. We shall look at that in our next post. 
Big tip: Parents should love all their children equally irrespective of their flaws. Never show favouritism and hatred. These two are a recipe for conflict and confusion. 

Sarai’s alternative: Go, sleep with my slave

Sarai and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels from Egypt (Genesis 12:16). The couple returned to Canaan with all that they received from Egypt including their male and female servants. Remember, in Egypt, Sarai’s integrity was sacrificed so Abram could survive without the Egyptians attacking him. God intervened to rescue Sarai from the Pharaoh who had taken Sarai because Abram called her his sister. Back in Canaan, the couple lived their lives and continued their relationship with God. In fact, Abram and his cousin Lot parted and Lot chose the best land, Sarai did not complain. Abram and the men in his house had to go and rescue Lot because Lot and all he had were captured, Sarai did not complain that Lot chose the best and must suffer for it. Then in Genesis 15, God renewed his covenant with Abram and reiterated the promise to bless him with a child. “Then the word of the Lord came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.” He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.” (Genesis 15:4‭-‬6)

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. (Genesis 16:1‭-‬2)

A lot happened when the couple returned from Egypt. Suddenly, Sarai had a plan to facilitate God’s promise. She looked through her household slaves and saw Hagar, a slave from Egypt. She scanned Hagar and realized that Hagar would be a good choice to help fulfil God’s promise. Sarai, a woman of class and beauty knew Abram’s taste and as such, she chose the slave girl who could be a good match. Abram had not complained that Sarai should have a child. In fact, Hagar was entirely Sarai’s plan to have a child. It was a common practice those days to have children through your slaves. After Sarai had perfectly crafted her plan, “she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.” (Genesis 16:2‭-‬4)

Hagar wasn’t a bad choice after all. Abram agreed to Sarai’s plan and slept with Hagar. To be the wife of a powerful man like Abram was a big thing. Hagar became pregnant for Abram, the same thing Sarai had been waiting on for years. It must have been a great joy to Sarai and Abram. Sarai could have told Abram, “I told you that Hagar is a good choice” and Abram would have beamed with smiles. But, Hagar had another plan. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress and this situation didn’t go down well with Sarai. The plan seemed good until Sarai felt mocked and disrespected by Hagar. All that Sarai wanted was a child but she felt her position was threatened because her own slave girl was treating her with contempt. The result of this was Sarai’s maltreatment of Hagar until Hagar, the pregnant slave fled (Genesis 16:6). Sarai had a plan to have a child but she didn’t consider the potential effects of rivalry and disrespect. All this time, she had enjoyed the comfort of being Abram’s first lady. But she had a competitor, one Sarai herself planned and brought forth to Abram.

Sarai’s baby plan worked, but she couldn’t stand disrespect and ridicule. The result was her harsh treatment of Hagar. Did Sarai count the cost? Was she scared of losing her position of love and affection? Did she lose her faith in God to fulfill His promise to them? Whatever happened to Sarai, resulted in bitterness and resentment towards her slave girl. The good plan became torn in her flesh. Hagar is pregnant but Sarai isn’t happy. The baby wasn’t the problem, Sarai had a deeper longing that was not satisfied by Hagar’s pregnancy. Sometimes, the things we crave for are not necessarily the things that bring satisfaction to our souls. Only God can satisfy our spiritual and physical emptiness. Sarai, instead of celebrating the pregnancy of Hagar, rather became a bitter woman. Be careful about what you long for, it can make or unmake you. As we ponder on Sarai’s attitude towards Hagar, it important to learn some lessons from Ephesians 4:31-32, 
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

The marriage principle of transparency

My kids love to watch Superbook, a Bible-based animation. In this animation, the main characters (2 children and a robot) always get transported into the past and they experience the lived lives of Bible characters and they also learn important lessons. The video on “In the beginning” shows Adam and Eve walking about in the Garden with no clothes on. The robot couldn’t deal with it and had to program itself by putting on imaginary dresses on the couple. As funny as this sound, Adam and Eve had their period of nakedness while in the Garden of Eden. They were literally naked and yet, they were not ashamed. The principle of nakedness is very important in marriage. Nakedness here means transparency and openness. The fact that the couple were not ashamed of their nakedness meant that God didn’t create them to be ashamed of it.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:25)

We should be careful not to equate this nakedness presently to going about without clothes. In fact, if any couple should make that attempt, I am sure they will be assigned psychiatric doctors. Adam and Eve’s nakedness was before the fall of man. They lived in perfect condition and the glory of God encapsulated them. They were living a life without sin. Nothing was hidden. They were aware of themselves and what they had. Transparency in marriage should include making our lives very open to our spouses. No human should know our deepest thoughts and feelings than our spouses. It includes sharing our bodies (sexually) and enjoying deep intimacy together. It also includes financial transparency: we should not hide our money from one another. These days, even technological transparency is important. We should not put unnecessary codes and passwords on our phones without sharing them with our spouses. Afterall, if you have nothing to hide, you should be comfortable giving your spouse access to your phone.

Our understanding that marriage presents the highest form of transparency among human relationships should urge us to be transparent with our spouses. It is not a one-way affair: “Adam and Eve were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:25). As soon as we start feeling the need to hide our dealings with our spouses, we should know that transparency is broken. We shouldn’t be shy to discuss our deepest thoughts and feelings together. Family and business goals should be shared together. Couples should be transparent enough to even discuss their sexual concerns so that they can be satisfied. The reason most couples refuse to be transparent to one another is as a result of trust issues. Many marriages have become susceptible to “leaked information” because one partner got tired of the marriage and decided to let the whole world know of their partner’s weakness. 

When we begin our marriage based on God’s principles, we avoid some of these challenges. However, it is never too late to go back to the basics. Genesis is the best place to start out. God designed marriage and His manual is the manufacturer’s guide for marriage. I recommend our books on marriage, choosing a marriage partner and humility for you. Until we are humble enough to accept God’s plan for our marriages, we will be running a different course. Remember, Adam and Eve were naked but yet, they were not ashamed. 

The marriage principle of one flesh

On the day I had my wedding,  the pastor who officiated the service told several stories about what happens in marriage. One of the stories was about a husband who intelligently defended the wife when the wife cooked a very delicate meal with the wrong recipe. The husband told his friends that he taught the wife that recipe just to avoid the friends making mockery at the wife. When the friends left, this husband showed the wife how to cook the recipe well. He did not expose the wife’s weakness in public. The pastor concluded that since marriage makes the couple one flesh, the man identified with the shame of the wife and stood in for her. He did not want the wife to feel humiliated, because indirectly the man would have been humiliated too. A cliché I got exposed to while growing up is “no one takes money to marry their enemy.” But, I think these days, lots of couples seem to be living with their enemies. 

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

The principle of one flesh implies that the couple become one in the sight of God. They don’t lose their individual personalities but the two different people form a new flesh. God sees the couple as one. The unity between the married man and the woman is expected to be so strong that it is difficult to pull apart. The only way to break one flesh is to cut it apart. This oneness is not sameness but an identity that causes them to see themselves as a unified whole. They cover one other’s weaknesses and help each other to grow. They see the success of one as the unified success of the couple. Unity pushes forward a formidable force. In Genesis 11, it took God Himself to thwart the plans of the people to build a tower because the people were united. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them” (Genesis 11:6). 

The deep unity God expects from marriage is the main reason identifying the vision of your partner is important. This ideally should be a premarital step. You need to know how you fit into each other’s life. This makes it easy to experience the principle of one flesh. With this same unity, a couple builds their home, raises godly offspring, builds their ministry, builds their businesses etc. As no one acting normally hurts themselves, when we fully understand one flesh, we do not hurt one another because the implication is hurting self. We bear one another’s burdens. We share each other’s joy. We feel each other’s pain. No one leaves their legs in the midst of trouble because the leg accidentally hits a bar and gets wounded. The pain is experienced by the whole body. Even though the hand is innocent of causing the pain, it feels the pain and applies healing balm on the leg until the leg is healed. This is applicable to one flesh in marriage: the couple feels one another’s pain and does not abandon the other in trouble. 

Remember, the devil’s attacks against marriage include taking our eyes off some of the foundational principles of marriage. He is constantly introducing something to make couples refuse the idea of one flesh. Do not give the devil a footstool in your home. He will take charge of everything. 

I will make a helper suitable for him

After the animals were created by God, Adam was assigned the task of giving them names: “Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name” (Genesis 2:19). That must be a lot of cognitive work, naming the different animals. In Genesis 2:20, we are told that Adam gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Imagine Adam living alone in the vast Garden of God and managing all the animals and vegetation. Definitely, he must have been super busy and in all his busyness, no animal was a suitable helper for Adam. Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

One lesson from God’s original intention of marriage is the fact the God identified the need for the man to have a helper. The woman is a helper to the man. God saw that it was not good for the man to be alone in the Garden, and therefore brought in the woman. Before God brought Eve to Adam, God already gave Adam a task of taking care of the Garden. Adam was a full time husbandman and a steward of the Garden of Eden. He ensured that the animals and plants were well taken care of. Therefore, God brought in Eve to help Adam with the task assigned to him. However, many people in marital unions have gone for helpers that do not have assigned tasks. Some men are yet to identify their purposes in life and no helper comes to do nothing. If the couple are running different assignments, there is bound to be a conflict.

Eve was sent to help Adam in fulfilling his purpose and vision. In the same way, Adam was expected to ensure that Eve remained in the purpose and call of God. Don’t you think God was aware when the serpent deceived Eve? Why did he blame Adam? “But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” (Genesis 3:9,11). Adam had a task and Eve was his perfect helper to help him work this task. However, the devil saw an opportunity to engage Eve in a conversation and ultimately deceived her to eat the forbidden fruit. Eve in turn gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Adam’s helper became Adam’s greatest fall. What could have been wrong? The devil used deception to lie to the woman. The devil told the woman that “God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5). This was a big lie because God had already created the man and the woman in His own image (Genesis 1:27). So Eve did not need the fruit to be like God. This deception is still used by the enemy to fight against God’s plan of marriage.

The woman taken from the rib of man has never been inferior to man. In fact, a helper is either of the same strength as you or better still stronger than you. The fallen man has been found guilty of maltreating the woman but at the beginning, it was not so. The woman was a co-steward in the business of the man. When we identify that we are working together as a couple to advance the purpose of our assignment, certain conflicts will cease and the enemy will be kicked out of our home. 

Dear God, help us to know that you created both the man and the woman to work together to achieve your purpose.  Help us to understand our roles in this assignment in order to know what to do at every point in time. I pray that couples will understand the principle of “suitable helper” and be ready to work together to achieve your purpose in Jesus’ name.

Marriage and God’s plan of eternity

In the Garden of Eden, God saw the good in everything He has created: the land, the vegetation, sun, the moon, the animals and fishes and man. According to the author of Genesis, “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day” (Genesis 1:31). God was satisfied with the world of His hands and declared their goodness. The sun worked in the day, the moon at night, the land was separated from the waters, the different types of animals beautified the world, and man was set to be the ruler of the created things. Definitely God had a good plan! Only an excellent designer can create a beautiful world and put things in their right places. The earth, the moon and the sun are a wonder and their existence can only be proven with scripture. Science has lots of questions about the existence of our world.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

As the narrative of Genesis moves on, we are given a detailed account of how God made the world and the things in it in Genesis chapter 2. Suddenly, the narrative takes a different momentum: “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). Thus, God identified the need for man (the male person) to have another person comparable to him. Man had all the animals,  the trees, the fishes and all creation at his disposal, yet God said it is not good for the man to be alone. The very first institution God established is marriage and the last institution that God will spend eternity with is the church which is the bride of the Lamb. 

In fact Paul admonishes us in Ephesians that “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:23‭, ‬25‭-‬27). In Revelation 19:7, the scripture states that “Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”

Marriage is a picture of God’s relationship to mankind. It is a type of what we will experience in eternity. The fact that there are no marriages in eternity does not mean we should not enjoy our marriages on earth. The institution under severe attack in our days is marriage. Contrary views about marriage and raising children have caused broken homes. Divorce is no more abhorred but preferred. This week, we shall consider some lessons on God’s plan for marriage. 

Dear God, help us to understand marriage in the light of your word. Help us to enjoy our marriages to the fullest. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you

Fear is a dangerous weapon of the enemy. Whenever you succumb to it you lose your faith. The feeling of fear is an unpleasant emotion which is caused by believing that someone or something is dangerous, and that dangerous person or thing is likely to cause pain, or a threat or even death. The stings of fear can be so piercing that it can even kill faster than a dangerous person or thing. Sometimes the only problem with people living in fear is that their fear is not based on anything visible. They postulate an expected end and they program their minds that this is the reality. These expectations can drive them to do the unthinkable. In fact, fear has been given a mnemonic: False Expectations Appearing Real (FEAR). The focus of fear appears so real but it is a false expectation. How do we overcome fear? 

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalms 56:3)

Fearing God is different from the kind of fear we are talking about here. To fear God is to revere God, it is a sense of awe and an act of submission to Him. We don’t see God as a dangerous person to run away from but a loving and compassionate Father we run to. There are several verses in the Bible that remind us not to fear. There can be a natural reaction of danger like being in an unpleasant situation, in a war-torn environment, battling with life-threatening ailments, dealing with human adversaries like thieves etc. However, in case fear comes our way, we can do what the Psalmist does. Psalm 56:3, the Psalmist states: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Trusting in God implies that we see God as a Saviour, a Redeemer, as one who is able to rescue us from all our troubles. Faith in God is an antidote to fear. Choosing faith over fear leads to a sense of relief. 

God wants us to live in good rest. He wants our homes to be built on the foundation of His providence. He wants us to grow in faith and diminish our fear. He wants us to trust Him at all times. He is our chief Shepherd and He will lead us to pleasant places. If we rest under His shadow,  He will give us rest. If we trust in Him, He refreshes our souls. Our nations are better when we entrust our leaders in His hands. Our homes are better when we make a commitment to serve Him. Whenever your children cannot sleep at night because of fear, remind them of God’s presence and protection. Let them know that trusting in God is enough to give them good rest. When we know that FEAR is False Expectations Appearing Real, we filter what goes into us and we replace our fear with faith. 

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalms 23:4)

Praying for Governments is our responsibility!

Imagine waking up to a very loud bomb blast and seeing people running helter skelter. The atmosphere might be unpleasant and if you are not physically strong to flee, the confusion alone can make you disoriented. This is actually the lives many people face all over the world. Unstable Governments, evil dictators and militia have caused nations to live in perpetual fear and caused citizens of such nations to become refugees in other countries. Most of us live in peaceful nations and we tend to take for granted the essence of living in a country that is stable. Without stability and peace, we cannot worship God in peace and raise godly homes. It is therefore important for us to be agents of peace. 

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.(1 Timothy 2:1‭-‬2)

As someone who has lived in 4 different countries and visited over a dozen, I do not take for granted the role of peace in nations. My family relocated to Canada over a year ago and we are thankful for God for the peace of the nation. Today, (July 1st) is Canada Day and my family is celebrating the faithfulness of God upon the nation. In fact, praying for the government in Canada and every other nation is our mandate. If we fail to pray for the government and people in authority, our peace is at stake. Paul admonishes us in 1 Timothy 2:1‭-‬2 as follows: “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” We should pray all sorts of prayers for the sustenance of our governments. 

We should pray petition prayers: asking for God’s help. We should pray intercession prayers: praying on behalf of others. We should pray thanksgiving prayers: showing gratitude for God’s providence. We should pray and pray until we see improvement,  change, growth and success in our nations. Praying for Governments should be intentional: we don’t need to feel like praying before we pray. When we are intentional in praying for all people: for kings and all those in authority (Governments), we are seeking for our peace. Paul said that, “we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness” when we pray for Governments. Every ungodly decision made by people in authority affects the family system. If we don’t pray, we willfully make room for legislation and statutes that jeopardize our families and homes. 

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)

Dear God, we pray for our nation. We pray for all those in authority. We pray for godly wisdom to govern and to make decisions that do not put our faith in jeopardy and destabilize the family system. We pray that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. In the name of Jesus Christ we have prayed.  Amen 

Live wisely: Building our homes on God’s wisdom

Wisdom is very important for all our endeavours. In fact, according to the Bible, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7). A home built on godly wisdom thrives and propers. But, a home built on folly is heading to ruins. Without wisdom, we are heading towards a risky path. It is important that as believers, we seek wisdom and understanding. There are people who are wise in academic and corporate affairs but lack the wisdom in home management. You can excel so much in your career and fail in your role as a parent, a wife, a husband or a child if you do not apply wisdom in your life. Wisdom is not inherited, we must seek it. No wonder Solomon in all his wisdom was succeeded by Rehoboam who lacked wisdom in managing state affairs. The result was detrimental. 

In the Bible, wisdom is personalized as a woman. Proverbs 4:5-9 admonishes us to “Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious crown.” In Proverbs 1:7, we are reminded that, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” We can leave properties to children, but we cannot leave wisdom as an inherited property. We must seek, desire,  acquire and teach it to our children. Why is wisdom principal in our homes?

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15‭-‬16)

We are living in evil days. Paul admonished the Ephesian church to “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15‭-‬16). We are not living in ordinary times. If we fail to build our homes on godly wisdom,  we make room for worldliness and ungodly information to penetrate into our family. Paul admonishes the church this way: “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is” (Ephesians 5:17). Parents, spouses, children etc. all need the wisdom of God to make godly decisions. For example, decisions on where the family will stay, raising godly children, the children’s education, financial arrangements for the future, managing money etc. must be carefully made in wisdom. For instance, If we understand the implication of saving towards retirement, we make important decisions on specific retirement plans while we are still in active work. 

The failure to take certain decisions in our active years can cause us a future of uncertainty. Let us make a conscious effort to make most of every opportunity. May we invest in seeking godly wisdom. The Bible is our foundational manual for wisdom. We should also listen to people who have used godly principles in building their homes. We can invest in books and other resources that provide godly principles of wisdom. We are too endowed to lose opportunities God brings our way. In all our ways, we should seek wisdom and understanding in order to stand out from among the crowd. 

Teach them to obey

As a child, I felt my parents were asking for too much. Why should I obey them all the time? Could I not have my way? However, as a mum, I keep asking, “Is it too much to obey?”, “Why do you want to have it your way?” I ask these questions because I really want the very best for my children and as such, I have to teach them to obey. When my daughter asks to play with a toy, I allow without reservation. But, should she ever ask to play with the knife, I will disallow without reservation. The fact that we teach our children to stay away from things that could possibly harm them is because we love them and do not want any harm to come to them. Just like adults, obedience does not naturally come to children. They need to be taught obedience and this should be done in love and sincerity. 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.(Ephesians 6:1)

The Bible admonishes children to obey their parents: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). If we desire to build godly homes, train up our children to  become better adults, instill godly principles in our children, have the Lord as the head of our homes, we must of necessity, teach the children to obey. It is morally wrong to teach your children to obey wrong rules. For example, if a parent is into an evil act such as fraud, and they teach the children to do the same, they continue the circle of wickedness. Remember, that lake of fire was made for the devil and all who practice wickedness and evil (Revelation 20:15). Let us teach them to obey God’s word, understand scriptures and to live godly lives.

When we understand that raising a godly home involves teaching obedience to our children, it will affect our attitudes. Know that even Jesus, our perfect example, was obedient and submitted to the Father. He demonstrated his obedient submission through His lifestyle. Hebrews documents it this way: “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.” (Hebrews 5:7‭-‬10)

If Jesus learned obedience, then our children have no excuse. It could be difficult to break the societal perceptions about obedience but if we start them off right, we are assured of a better future for our children. Remember, it is our duty to teach them to obey. Do not leave that responsibility to teachers and society.